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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Just found out I have a SS

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Just found out a few months ago that dh had a son we didn't know he had. Apparently a girl he had been with in college got pregnant and thought someone else to be the father until recently paternity was done. The child is 7. I'm not sure what to think about the situation because it's not one I would've chosen to be in but the boys mother is now asking ME for money and help with the child and as bad as it sounds i want nothing to do with them at this point. I haven't adjusted and last time I agreed to watch him for a few hours she didn't come back for 3 days and the boy terrorized my house, fought with my kids (physically), caused me to have to put my dogs outside because he wouldn't quit hitting and kicking them but the mother keeps trying to pressure me into things and giving me sad stories about her ex and how he walked out when he found out he wasn't the father and how badly little junior is taking it. I don't know what to do because I don't want to compromise the relationship between dh and his son but I don't want to be as involved as his mother is trying to get me to be either. Dh works a lot and her wanting me to have the boy when dh isn't here especially when it's not dh scheduled visitation is I think too much.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:32 PM
6 moms liked this

I would not take him unless DH was home.  Atleast not at first.  In time maybe.  Really your dh and his son need to spend time together and get to know each other.

ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:33 PM
Oh wow
bump for you
Kat31
by AlwaysWatching on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:33 PM
Why did she not come back for 3 days??
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:35 PM

I agree with this. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I would not take him unless DH was home.  Atleast not at first.  In time maybe.  Really your dh and his son need to spend time together and get to know each other.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:36 PM
3 moms liked this

you shouldu have called cps on her when she didn't show up for 3 days. DH needs to be the one to deal with him, not you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly, I wouldn't stay in that situation. She alone raised the child for 7 years. Why is she juat now coming forward? Either my husband signs away his rights or I would divorce him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I've gotta say, he probably is hurt and confused right now. The only dad he knew just walked out on him :(

I wouldn't take him unless your DH is home. Let him deal with it until you all get used to the new setup.
Shy_Dia
by Ruby Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:39 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree. Right now, a relationship needs to form between father and son... it's a lot to take on, just finding it you have a SS.... for a 7 year old, it's the break up of the only family he's ever known... to finding the real dad and adding a step mom AND half or step siblings. Way too much, imo.... and if he's taking the original family break up hard, then he's gotta go to therapy to deal with those feelings... as well as dealing with the feelings of the 'new family'

And mom not coming back for 3 days? Leaving him with ultimately strangers?! Wtf is wrong with her? I'd question if she's done that before, with people who aren't his family. Poor kid.



Quoting Anonymous:

I would not take him unless DH was home.  Atleast not at first.  In time maybe.  Really your dh and his son need to spend time together and get to know each other.

DeeMD82
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:39 PM


Quoting Anonymous: Honestly, I wouldn't stay in that situation. She alone raised the child for 7 years. Why is she juat now coming forward? Either my husband signs away his rights or I would divorce him.

Not the OP but she is just now coming forward because she just found out the man she thought was his dad turned out not to be.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:42 PM

He spends time with him every weekend and we try including him in some of our family activities, I just don't like his behavior and don't want to deal with him and haven't come to an acceptance yet.

Quoting Anonymous:

I would not take him unless DH was home.  Atleast not at first.  In time maybe.  Really your dh and his son need to spend time together and get to know each other.


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