DD17 is so mad at DD14 -and I don't blame her! Long but HELP!!!! UPDAT PAGE 30
Before I say why - I just want to say; DD17 is a hard worker, she studies hard, works hard, and if she wants something she will work her ass off to get to the goa. To give you an idea -DD17 isn't naturally "stunning" but she decided she wanted to be more physically appealing so she did a makeup course, she applied for several makeover compititions and won, and also found several fashion students willing to make her their 'project' to help her out (and get a good grade for it in return!). DD14 however is naturally smart, naturally talented,, naturally beautiful and naturally "girly" (she knows what's in without even looking at a magazine), so slacks off a lot and then complains that she doesn't get as much 'love' as DD17. Both girls have the same dad and grew up with the exact same love, attention and discipline.
DD17 has recently proven that she is capable of handling her honors courseload, her job, her friends, sport, and being a (reasonably) mature young woman, so DH and I agreed she could start dating. The young man is someone that has grown up in our neighborhood and we all like and trust him. DD14 -who at current is slacking with all her assignments due to laziness, spends all her time with her friends, got kicked off the soccor team for skipping practice too much (she said it was 'too much work) and refuses to get a part time job (which here you can do at 14 and 9 months). She heard that DD17 was allowed to date and begged to be allowed too. We said no partly to her lack of maturity/responsibility AND her age. She chucked a major tantrum proving our point and stormed off. We thought that was the last of it.
I was at work when the situation unfolded -so I'm not a 100% sure what happened, but here's what DD17, the boyfriend AND the neighbor has told me. DD17 had to stay behind today unexpectedly and couldn't grab her phone to text the bf that she'd be late getting to our house where they were going to study. But she managed to snag her sister who was walking past and ask her to tell him that she'd be around 15 minutes late and she obliged. The NEIGHBOR -sitting on her porch -saw DD14 hurl into the house like a hurricane and when she reappeared outside the door when the boyfriend knocked, she was wearing some super suggestive clothing and apparently acted very fliratious towards the boyfriend. The boyfriend said that DD14 opened the door, stepped outside, told him that DD17 told her to tell him that she didn't want to date him anymore BUT that she would...When the boyfriend said 'I'm sorry, but your just a kid" trying to wrap his head around all this, she leaned forward grabbed him and started making out with him. The neighbor could CLEARLY hear/see the boy trying to push her off and saying "no don't." He succeeded and DD14 then tells him that she could do way more for him than DD17 was and that she was a prude. As he went to walk away she "tripped" and as he helped her up, she pulled him down and kissed him again...Right as DD17 walked up the driveway.
I got home to world war III. DD17 is in her room crying. DD14 is walking around like a smug cow (thankfully in different clothes) and DH is just sitting in the loungeroom alternating between checking on DD17, sitting with his head in his hands and staring at DD14 shaking her head. DD17 doesn't even want to talk to me. The boyfriend has called and even dropped by (hence why I know all this) and the neighbor stopped by right after he left. I'm kinda in shock. Help?
EDIT: So far ALL the electronics are gone, her ass is grounded and the outfit that she was wearing was on the table (thanks to DH) and it has been trashed within a inch of its life. Apparently it belonged to DD14's friend (DD17 clarified she saw the girl wearing it at school) and if this mom REALLY wants her kid wearing slutty clothes, then DD14 will be doing jobs and earning money to replace the outfit. I'm currently going through her electronics and have found that DD14 has planned this for at least 2 weeks with her 'friends' encouraging her. Apparently a few weeks ago, DD14 made a snide remark that because she was prettier than DD17 she could get any guy she wanted from DD17 and when DD17 said that her boyfriend was nicer than to stoop that low, DD14 decided to prove her wrong. Ugh. Tomorrow I'm sending DD14 off to help my mom babysit my sisters triplets for the day (a preorganized committment) and DH and myself are cleaning out/going through her entire room. Everything will be searched/gone through and only the bare neccessities will remain. The neighbor that witnessed all this has offered to be DD14's babysitter until further notice and I'm confiscating DD14's keys off her. Counselling will be happening and the boy is coming back tomorrow at about lunchtime to talk to DD17. DD14's door is also coming off and all her social media has been deleted and her friends will NOT be contacted outside of school.
UPDATE: Sorry it took so long guys. Busy day. Okay, so DH and I found a lot of questionable clothing. We're not strict,but this stuff was very very inappropriate for a 14yo. It looks like she's been hiding it under her bed/under piles of other clothes and sneaking it to school. We also found a diary with evidence pointing towards that she feels that nobody gives her credit for anything she does because she doesn't have to work for it like her sister does. Resentment. The counselling appointment will be scheduled first thing in the morning. No drugs, no alcohol, no birth control. But we ARE scheduling a doctors appointment just to be safe. DD was gone from 7.30 -7.30 and she was exhausted when she got home. So were we. Her room is empty. She has a mattress on the floor, all her favourite bedding has been stripped off and a boring blue set that I found in the attic on instead. I've stripped her wardrobe down to 5 pairs of loose jeans, 5 loose fitting t-shirts, a jumper and her 5 most unsexiest bras/undies. Her hygiene stuff consists of 3 hairties, a hairbrush, toothbrush/paste, shampoo/conditioner, soap and a facewash. Her room has been packed away with only educational books left in her room. It's all in the attic and I've locked it up. DD came home and FREAKED. Had a major temper tantrum, slamming her fists into the attic door demanding us to let her in because it was 'her' stuff. I grabbed her arm like a toddler, put her in her room and shut the door -which I forgot to add has had to be put back on until a house inspection is completed on tuesday. She can come out in the morning. DD17 - She woke up and told me that she wanted to hear HIS side. I checked her phone this morning, neither of them have contacted each other -but she decided of her own accord to see him. They decided they were going to talk alone so left at 12.30. She came back at 4.30; got changed and then went out to a dinner/movies with him. She should be back in about half an hour. DD said she wants to sit and talk to me about how she feels about her sister; so I'll update on that tomorrow morning!