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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm fed up with her expecting me to watch my grandchildren. update.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My DD is about to deliver baby #2. Right now I watch my grandson while shes at work 40 hours a week. She doesn't make enough to afford daycare. I don't charge her anything because shes barely getting by. Shes expecting me to watch this baby as well, but I really don't want to. It's not that I don't want to help her but I feel she is taking advantage of my support. The least she could have done was practiced safe sex so she didn't have to add to my burden. I don't know what to do. If I tell her no, she will have to quit her job and eventually move in with me, something I dont want even more. 

What should I do?


UPDATE: She just dropped my GS off. While she was here I talked to her about finding some other childcare for the kids. She said what she always does "Mom, you know my budget is stretched to the max. I can't afford 200 dollars a week in child care." I told her I understood that, but I also told her how tired I am and that as much as I love my GC I can't watch them all the time anymore. I told her about the CAPS program and that if she cut her hours a little she should qualify. She had the nerve to cuss at me in front of my GS and accuse me of trying to take food and clothes out of their mouths. She had the audacity to act like it was my job to help her anytime she needed because "that's what mothers do". She snatched my GS and tried to drag him out of my apartment. I grabbed him because I was afraid of where or who she would leave him with. I told her I would keep him until the end of March, but by then she needs a sitter.

I just don't know what to do about this girl. Shes so selfish and treats me like trash. All I ask her for was a break. I'm trying to be reasonable but all she cares about is herself. I know she is going to try to continue to guit me into watching them. I don't want to give them or my relationship with her up, but I'm so tired. I've been doing this for 3 years now. I need a break!

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:13 PM
Replies (11-20):
MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this

She isn't married I take it.  Tell her your concerns.  Maybe you can say look I'm going to watch the kids for blah blah period of time.  During that time you have to find other arrangements and I will help you do that.  After that I'm done.  There are alternatives, head start, scholarships for daycare, trade babysitting with other moms, and government programs.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:25 PM
Does your DD have a husband? Or does she get child support?
I understand , how you feel. I think you should tell her , she needs to look for childcare. Tell her to call welfare and start applying for help. You raised your children already!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:25 PM

Does she have a husband to help?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:25 PM

I googled what you said and I got a program called CAPS of Georgia. Is that what you're speaking on? Shes makes just over the max.

Quoting peanutsmommy1: No head start is federally funded free preschool, she needs to apply for state child care assistance
Quoting Anonymous:

What do you mean? Are you talking about head start? If so both of the centers in our area are filled up to maximum capacity and the waiting line is about  50+ kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

She can apply for childcare expenses.



peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:27 PM
Is that based on her being a family of two or three?

Quoting Anonymous:

I googled what you said and I got a program called CAPS of Georgia. Is that what you're speaking on? Shes makes just over the max.

Quoting peanutsmommy1: No head start is federally funded free preschool, she needs to apply for state child care assistance

Quoting Anonymous:

What do you mean? Are you talking about head start? If so both of the centers in our area are filled up to maximum capacity and the waiting line is about  50+ kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

She can apply for childcare expenses.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:27 PM
Persontlly I would just have a heart to heart with my child and be more than willing to spend quality time with my grandchildren.but I understand not everyone Wants to
cdjd23
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:27 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to have a conversation with your daughter and let her know you can't handle 2 kids and that you need a break. Where are the fathers of these kids and why are they not helping her, it's her decision to make these choices and the burden of her care is not on you.
cdjd23
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:28 PM
8 moms liked this
There is a big difference between quality time and being the primary care giver of her 2 grand kids.

Quoting Anonymous: Persontlly I would just have a heart to heart with my child and be more than willing to spend quality time with my grandchildren.but I understand not everyone Wants to
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:29 PM

Yes,have her look into state assistance for daycare. My neighbor used to get it and she only paid $5 A day after they paid the other part. that's cheap!

MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Another thing you can consider is what I did.  My mil took care of our kids at the time, without complaint, but in order to give her a break and socialize my ds I put him into part time daycare twice a week.  I think when my youngest was one or two years old we had to go to full daycare for both of them because my mil's health started going bad.

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