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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm fed up with her expecting me to watch my grandchildren. update.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My DD is about to deliver baby #2. Right now I watch my grandson while shes at work 40 hours a week. She doesn't make enough to afford daycare. I don't charge her anything because shes barely getting by. Shes expecting me to watch this baby as well, but I really don't want to. It's not that I don't want to help her but I feel she is taking advantage of my support. The least she could have done was practiced safe sex so she didn't have to add to my burden. I don't know what to do. If I tell her no, she will have to quit her job and eventually move in with me, something I dont want even more. 

What should I do?


UPDATE: She just dropped my GS off. While she was here I talked to her about finding some other childcare for the kids. She said what she always does "Mom, you know my budget is stretched to the max. I can't afford 200 dollars a week in child care." I told her I understood that, but I also told her how tired I am and that as much as I love my GC I can't watch them all the time anymore. I told her about the CAPS program and that if she cut her hours a little she should qualify. She had the nerve to cuss at me in front of my GS and accuse me of trying to take food and clothes out of their mouths. She had the audacity to act like it was my job to help her anytime she needed because "that's what mothers do". She snatched my GS and tried to drag him out of my apartment. I grabbed him because I was afraid of where or who she would leave him with. I told her I would keep him until the end of March, but by then she needs a sitter.

I just don't know what to do about this girl. Shes so selfish and treats me like trash. All I ask her for was a break. I'm trying to be reasonable but all she cares about is herself. I know she is going to try to continue to guit me into watching them. I don't want to give them or my relationship with her up, but I'm so tired. I've been doing this for 3 years now. I need a break!

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:13 PM
Replies (31-40):
GhettoKoolAide
by Lighthouse Blues on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:38 PM
I don't blame you. My mom watches my son 20 hours a week and I feel like a deadbeat because I don't pay her. I can't imagine adding on to her responsibility or her allowing it.
lunyuny
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:39 PM
Tell her she needs to apply for assistance for day care
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:42 PM

Shes not married

Quoting Anonymous:

why not see if you can split the time with her in-laws.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:44 PM

I'm just really tired. i have to watch my GS almost 10 hours a day. He tires me out enough and now I'm going to have to watch an infant. I just hate that this is my life now. I can't even do what i want because I always have to be available for her. 

Quoting Anonymous: Are you sick of babysitting altogether? Or is it the lack of compensation you are fed up with? If it's the latter, since she can't afford to pay you, maybe you two could sit down and come up with a way she could pay you back without money. ie- if she has a garden, she could give you x amount of what it produces. Everyone has a skill someone needs, figure out hers and take that as your payment. You won't feel taken advantage of, and she won't feel like a mooch. HTH some!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:46 PM

I doubt it. 

Quoting Texor:

Offer to pay for a tubal, first off.  I am totally serious. 

Second, can she afford part time care?  Like 20 hours?  Maybe that's a good way to bridge the gap. 


tiniowien
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:46 PM

Could tell her you need to charge

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:48 PM

She doesn't really have any extra money. 

Quoting tiniowien:

Could tell her you need to charge


Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:48 PM
:( That sounds exhausting, I hope you guys can find a solution that doesn't cause her to have to move in with you!

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm just really tired. i have to watch my GS almost 10 hours a day. He tires me out enough and now I'm going to have to watch an infant. I just hate that this is my life now. I can't even do what i want because I always have to be available for her. 

Quoting Anonymous: Are you sick of babysitting altogether? Or is it the lack of compensation you are fed up with? If it's the latter, since she can't afford to pay you, maybe you two could sit down and come up with a way she could pay you back without money. ie- if she has a garden, she could give you x amount of what it produces.

Everyone has a skill someone needs, figure out hers and take that as your payment. You won't feel taken advantage of, and she won't feel like a mooch. HTH some!

DaBuzz
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:51 PM

She's a single mom? Low-income? You can absolutely get paid for babysitting. If that's the only issue. If you really don't want to babysit any longer she can get assistance for childcare elsewhere. She has to apply for it though.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:52 PM

Wow.  You consider your own grandkids to be a burden to you?  Damn, that's cold.

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