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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm fed up with her expecting me to watch my grandchildren. update.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My DD is about to deliver baby #2. Right now I watch my grandson while shes at work 40 hours a week. She doesn't make enough to afford daycare. I don't charge her anything because shes barely getting by. Shes expecting me to watch this baby as well, but I really don't want to. It's not that I don't want to help her but I feel she is taking advantage of my support. The least she could have done was practiced safe sex so she didn't have to add to my burden. I don't know what to do. If I tell her no, she will have to quit her job and eventually move in with me, something I dont want even more. 

What should I do?


UPDATE: She just dropped my GS off. While she was here I talked to her about finding some other childcare for the kids. She said what she always does "Mom, you know my budget is stretched to the max. I can't afford 200 dollars a week in child care." I told her I understood that, but I also told her how tired I am and that as much as I love my GC I can't watch them all the time anymore. I told her about the CAPS program and that if she cut her hours a little she should qualify. She had the nerve to cuss at me in front of my GS and accuse me of trying to take food and clothes out of their mouths. She had the audacity to act like it was my job to help her anytime she needed because "that's what mothers do". She snatched my GS and tried to drag him out of my apartment. I grabbed him because I was afraid of where or who she would leave him with. I told her I would keep him until the end of March, but by then she needs a sitter.

I just don't know what to do about this girl. Shes so selfish and treats me like trash. All I ask her for was a break. I'm trying to be reasonable but all she cares about is herself. I know she is going to try to continue to guit me into watching them. I don't want to give them or my relationship with her up, but I'm so tired. I've been doing this for 3 years now. I need a break!

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:13 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this

You will HAVE to draw a line in the sand.  I know someone who went through this same thing with her daughter and she eventually took the bull by the horns and told her DD that she would watch her son when it was convenient for her.

She is taking advantage of you and being very irresponsible.  She is going to have to stand on her own 2 feet at some point.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:56 PM

Regardless is she was married or not, I would still feel the same way.

Quoting KatLee42513: Is she married? If she is then I do think as a grandmother watching the second kid is a great idea. If not - she's got bigger issies


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:57 PM
5 moms liked this

They are a burden because I have to watch them, not because I don't love them

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow.  You consider your own grandkids to be a burden to you?  Damn, that's cold.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Tell her no and don't let her move back in with you.  It isn't your job to care for her or her kids anymore. You have to stop enabling her poor choices. She will figure it out if you get out of the way.

DaBuzz
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:01 PM
5 moms liked this

Pfft! I would too. I would refuse to watch my grandkids, for free or get paid to do it, for any length of time. Once my children are adults and begin having children I expect them to have their ducks in a row beforehand.

Don't expect me to take care of your responsibilities, I have my own life to live. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow.  You consider your own grandkids to be a burden to you?  Damn, that's cold.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:02 PM
2 moms liked this

But they're you're *grandkids*.  And she's a single mom.  Sorry, but I've never understood grandparents that don't want to help their kids.  You'd think you'd want your daughter's life to be easier than yours so you'd be willing to help out.  Besides, it's not like she's going home, watching her stories and eating bonbons while you have your grandson, is it?  She's probably working her tail off, too.

Quoting Anonymous:

They are a burden because I have to watch them, not because I don't love them

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow.  You consider your own grandkids to be a burden to you?  Damn, that's cold.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:03 PM

 I feel for you. You are at a point in your life you are done raising children.  You have every right to just be grandma to your grandchildren and not their babysitter.  You have to sit her down and be honest with her. You also need to talk to her about what she is doing with her life and let her know she needs to make a change because what she is doing now isn't working and you can't bail her out. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm just really tired. i have to watch my GS almost 10 hours a day. He tires me out enough and now I'm going to have to watch an infant. I just hate that this is my life now. I can't even do what i want because I always have to be available for her. 

Quoting Anonymous: Are you sick of babysitting altogether? Or is it the lack of compensation you are fed up with? If it's the latter, since she can't afford to pay you, maybe you two could sit down and come up with a way she could pay you back without money. ie- if she has a garden, she could give you x amount of what it produces. Everyone has a skill someone needs, figure out hers and take that as your payment. You won't feel taken advantage of, and she won't feel like a mooch. HTH some!

 

 

peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:05 PM
7 moms liked this
Helping is one thing, full time child care is a job

Quoting Anonymous:

But they're you're *grandkids*.  And she's a single mom.  Sorry, but I've never understood grandparents that don't want to help their kids.  You'd think you'd want your daughter's life to be easier than yours so you'd be willing to help out.  Besides, it's not like she's going home, watching her stories and eating bonbons while you have your grandson, is it?  She's probably working her tail off, too.

Quoting Anonymous:

They are a burden because I have to watch them, not because I don't love them

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow.  You consider your own grandkids to be a burden to you?  Damn, that's cold.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 17 on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:06 PM
7 moms liked this

Working her tail off so hard she can find time to have unprotected sex and get knocked up again while her mother watches her kid for 10 hours a day? Ya, sure. 

Quoting Anonymous:

But they're you're *grandkids*.  And she's a single mom.  Sorry, but I've never understood grandparents that don't want to help their kids.  You'd think you'd want your daughter's life to be easier than yours so you'd be willing to help out.  Besides, it's not like she's going home, watching her stories and eating bonbons while you have your grandson, is it?  She's probably working her tail off, too.

Quoting Anonymous:

They are a burden because I have to watch them, not because I don't love them

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow.  You consider your own grandkids to be a burden to you?  Damn, that's cold.




monkeydance
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:06 PM
6 moms liked this
I don't think op is saying that. Her purpose on this earth is not to provide child care 40 hours a week. She should be doing things and enjoying her life as a retiree. Grandparents are not built in childcare!

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow.  You consider your own grandkids to be a burden to you?  Damn, that's cold.

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