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EDIT. vent. I'm tired of nonparents being pissy in the workplace

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
EDIT: to clarify, so I don't have to keep reposting this: I don't ask for preferential treatment. All I ask is that she not be a hypocritical bitch. This is ONE day that I am coming in late in order to work late, and will still work a FULL day. She regularly takes long lunches, leaves early, or comes in late and I have never once been bitchy to her about it.

OP:


Thanks in advance if you read this vent.

I have a coworker who has chosen not to have children, and she is an absolute asshole about child-related things. I'm so tired of her dirty looks and comments when I go to pump. She's also pissed that I am not working Fridays for the year (I just had a baby last year).

Tonight I texted her and told her I was coming in late tomorrow since we have to stay for an event until 9. She texted back
"Well, here's the thing. Jessica and I are working full days tomorrow AND staying late. I think you should use vacation time."

Grrr. I wouldn't actually care that much about vacation time, I just can't stand her attitude.

What would you do?

ETA: I am not taking "extra time off" for kids. We get paid for a 40 hour workweek, although I currently am getting paid for a 32 hour week as I have Fridays off. I should add that last year when she was teaching a course in the evenings, she regularly came in late.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:20 PM
Replies (21-30):
pce68
by Patti on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:29 PM

Ok, you have a right to pump, so she should not be giving you a hard time. If she is just giving you dirty looks about it, then ignore it. If she is making nasty comments about you pumping, maybe talk to your boss. If she is your boss, go to her supervisor.

Why are you not working on Fridays? I can see why that would annoy her, but if you have been given permission by your boss, then it is none of her business. And as far as coming in late, what event is this? And did you get permission from your boss to come in late? If you did get permission, then she needs to keep her mouth shut, and if she can't, then maybe you should talk to your boss. If she is the boss, then you two need to discuss this, and possibly talk to HR or her boss.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:30 PM
She doesn't "run" anything. She is my peer.

Quoting Anonymous: I would stop expecting a work place to cater to you specially just because you have chosen to have children, they are trying to run a business.
Lolabearlow
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:30 PM
3 moms liked this
Sorry but it seems like you are asking for special privlages because you had kids. If people are coming in at regular time even though you guys are staying late-you should too. Fridays? Thats something that could breed resenrment. .
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:31 PM
1 mom liked this

this is the attitude that causes my dh to only hire male employees. they have no expectation of special treatment because of children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:32 PM

The pumping thing is totally uncalled for. Letting her know you are going to be late is just a courtsey, same as calling if you're stuck in traffic or you have a flat tire. I don't see why being up that late will interfer with you being to work on time, but if the event is a "Finally we are having a date after baby!!" thing with you and dh then maybe you should of asked for the next day off instead of calling in saying you will be late. But either way, I don't like people who specifically attack parents for being responsible for another life. There is such a thing as workplace flexibility and she needs to learn it. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:32 PM
She is not my boss.

My boss gave me Fridays off; I took a huge pay cut to do so.

My boss generally prefers not to be bothered with this sort of thing, as we are all professionals. I always get my work done, and will still work a full day tomorrow.

Quoting pce68:

Ok, you have a right to pump, so she should not be giving you a hard time. If she is just giving you dirty looks about it, then ignore it. If she is making nasty comments about you pumping, maybe talk to your boss. If she is your boss, go to her supervisor.

Why are you not working on Fridays? I can see why that would annoy her, but if you have been given permission by your boss, then it is none of her business. And as far as coming in late, what event is this? And did you get permission from your boss to come in late? If you did get permission, then she needs to keep her mouth shut, and if she can't, then maybe you should talk to your boss. If she is the boss, then you two need to discuss this, and possibly talk to HR or her boss.

Sister_Someone
by Rachel on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:32 PM
6 moms liked this

Every person, parent or otherwise, has all the right in this world to get pissy about unequal/preferrential treatment of another employee, based on any grounds.

imthatgirl0607
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:33 PM
2 moms liked this
I absolutely can not stand coworkers who fee they are special and thatrules dont apply to them because they have kids.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:33 PM
1 mom liked this
its a business that you're employed by they dont care if you have chosen to have children. if you're scheduled you show up.end of discussion.

Quoting Anonymous: She doesn't "run" anything. She is my peer.

Quoting Anonymous: I would stop expecting a work place to cater to you specially just because you have chosen to have children, they are trying to run a business.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:33 PM
2 moms liked this
Good thing you don't work for me. I would help you with the breastfeeding deal, but the rest, you would have to make other arrangements if you want to continue employment with me.
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