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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

10 Mom Confessions to Make You Feel Like a Superior Parent

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:11 AM
  • 100 Replies
4 moms liked this

10 Mom Confessions to Make You Feel Like a Superior Parent

by Jill Smokler

Remember what a good parent you were ... back before you had kids?

As we all know, this job ain't an easy one, and it's reassuring to know we're not alone in having a less than easy time with it. On the days when I need to be reminded of that, I head to my Scary Mommy Confessional, and instantly feel better.

Need a pick me up, too? Read on ...

1. I desperately want it to be acceptable to order wine like you order a diet coke. Anytime of day, at the drive thru, wherever, whenever, no judgement.

2. Whenever my younger daughter tantrums, I just want to scream "this is why I like your sister more than you!"

3. My son has been dressing himself. We just discovered today he has been putting clean underwear on over the dirty. For DAYS.

4. On maternity leave but had to run into my office. Threw on some chapstick on my way in. When I got back to the car I realized it was lipstick and I'd smeared it all AROUND my lips. Looked like a 2yo who got into mommy's makeup.

5. My kids think the halloween skeleton in our closet is their oldest brother that I starved to death because he didn't listen.

6. I write out my to-do list everyday ... Thankfully, it's on a dry erase board so I just wipe it clean before my husband comes home and sees nothing crossed off.

7. Our daughter fell asleep on the couch tonight. My husband and I ate our dinner on the floor with our fingers for fear chairs and utensil noises would wake her.

8. I'm teaching my DS2 to catch. This morning he took off his diaper, balled it up, beamed me in the back of the head with it, and excitedly yelled 'Two hands mommy!!'

9. I just opted jail over a ticket. I knew my kids would be safe and more then ok, and that the jail would only be overnight. 24 hours of no drama, or chores. I think I might need a vacation!

10. I'm a high level exec at work, yet at home, I just took a poop with a two year old straddling my lap. TOOK. A. POOP. WITH. A. TWO. YEAR. OLD. STRADDLING. MY. LAP.  

Do YOU have something to confess?

by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
YesYesOhGodYes
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:15 AM
3 moms liked this

I've taken many a poo's with a child on my lap, or in the same room.  My daughters follow me into the bathroom when I go and my husband is constantly telling them to leave me alone.  My oldest likes to take her snack in there and eat it while chatting it up with me.

NiamhWitch
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:18 AM
4 moms liked this

#5 made me laugh.

RunningMommaof2
by Kelly on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:35 AM
Omg #5... I think I just died laughing.
JustMeKat
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Im so sorry for not picking up siggies getting ready for winter
Yesterday at 6:00 PM
by Kat on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:43 AM
12 moms liked this

 lol @ # 5

lol every night

soontobemommie3
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:45 AM
#5!!! Lol!!
LNLMommy
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:54 AM

love it! #5 and #10. It amazes me how kids are immune to bathroom smells

anjones09
by Ash on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:55 AM
#5 is a good idea lol. These are hilarious.
arimaur
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:59 AM
2 moms liked this

omgoodness i know!! dd3 had to use the bathroom and said "go away mommy, i'll call you when i'm done" so i sat in the living room.  i started to smell something horrible so i went to check on her.  i walked in and i swear it was like some 300lb man that just took a dump lol.  i made a comment and she was like "it stinks? it doesn't smell bad mommy" lol.  sorry, your immunity comment reminded me 

Quoting LNLMommy:

love it! #5 and #10. It amazes me how kids are immune to bathroom smells

 

jeda1429
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:01 PM

LOL ! here's mine. I'm pretty sure my 12 year old does not change his underwear for months at a time, since I do the laundry and there's never any dirty underwear. If I question him about it he gets mad so I just let it be. he never has a stench to him so I hinestly don't care. He'll figure it out some day.

readyforhim
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:02 PM

My middle son used to sit on the radiator while I showered until he was around 2, he was so needy after his colic ended.

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