Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Update/Added: Is it normal for men to keep photos of their exes?

Posted by   + Show Post
Does your current so, dh, boyfriend, etc still have photos of an ex around?

I've expressed my concerns to my boyfriend about his photos but he says they are to remind him of where he came from and his life experiences. I told him that they make me uncomfortable. He said he won't get rid of them and its not fair because I have pictures of my ex. But my ex is my fathers son. My boyfriend argues that because he isn't around anymore there is no point in keeping them. My son is two and doesn't remember him.



How would you feel? And is this normal for men or women to do?



Update - he deleted the photos on his laptop slideshow without me saying anything. He noticed and apologized. He doesn't use the laptop very much and forgot that those photos were on there.

And.... For the mothers who's child/ren's father is not your current DH, what did you do with the fathers photos? If your child's biological father is not in the picture, where are his photos now?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:44 PM
Replies (31-40):
wickedfunmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:58 PM

DH doesn't have any.. but I once had a boyfriend that kept FOLDERS of pictures of all his exes on his laptop !!!! EEEEKKK It was so gross I dumped him when I found it

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:59 PM
I'm not going to ask my dh to throw away memories. He has pics of him and exes at prom. That would be shitty of me to tell him to throw them away. I also have pics of my exes. One of them is ds's bio dad. He was my HS sweetheart and a big part of my HS years. The pics aren't on my wall, that would be different and I would probably make a big deal out of it then...we both have ours tucked away in boxes.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rvb146
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:59 PM
He said he's keeping the photos if his friends are also in the picture. That's understandable and I agreed to that. Then like half an hour ago I walk into the kitchen and his laptop is on the counter and its going through his slideshow. There's pictures of just her on there and of just him and her.

It's not like I was snooping. The damn laptop is open for the whole world to see.

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Oh hell no. If they were some prints buried in a box in the attic, I'd forget about it, but on his fb, I'd think he wasn't really over her.

Quoting rvb146: His laptop and Facebook.

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Where is he keeping the photos?

Quoting rvb146: He keeps saying that he wants to keep them to remind him of his past and where he's come from.

Well I want to build a future with him. He wants the same from me. Why keep the past with us? Especially the girl who broke off the engagement. I feel hurt that her photos are still around.

It's us now for goodness sake!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Neither dh nor I have any photos of ex's. If we did it would be because they still meant something to us.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rvb146
by Gold Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I'd understand that. But his are in his Facebook and on his laptop. I see them by mistake and it hurts me.



Quoting Devious333: I'm not going to ask my dh to throw away memories. He has pics of him and exes at prom. That would be shitty of me to tell him to throw them away. I also have pics of my exes. One of them is ds's bio dad. He was my HS sweetheart and a big part of my HS years. The pics aren't on my wall, that would be different and I would probably make a big deal out of it then...we both have ours tucked away in boxes.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rvb146
by Gold Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:02 AM
Thank you! Sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I really want I trust him. I want this relationship with everything I have.

Quoting csxt99:

I have no problem with my husband having pictures of his ex.  She is part of his past and part of what made him into who he is today.  I am not threatened by a memory.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:02 AM
My hubby has pics of his ex's and is friends with them on facebook. I have one ex as a friend on facebook. We have no problem with it. They are ex's for a reason....
inspain
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:03 AM

Nope.  

It's only "normal" if the person isn't over their ex.  It's that simple.

Get rid of this guy.  He's trouble.

sam12796
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:04 AM

 I have 2 of one of my exes. My grandmother spent many many years 35 to be exact taking pictures and putting them into photo albums so I would have a good amount of memories to look back on. She spent hours doing this for me, my sister, my brother and two cousins. I will be damned if I take these chronicals of my life apart exposing the other pics to the air just to get 2 pictures of my past out of them. My husband is in them as well. He knows those pics are there and I do not go looking through them and wondering about them. They are the past. Albeit an important part of my past. I had a hard time excepting my life back then. I was with an abusive ex(not in pics) I got pregnant by him because I was a fool, I lost that baby, my parents told me never to tell my grandparents about it because it would break their heart. Two weeks later my Grandfather died, he meant the world to me and he died with me basically lying to him. I started drinking and hated myself. My ex (one in pics) came along and gave me a reason to smile again. Brought me out of this dark place I was in. Gave me hope. We were engaged for 2 years. He cheated on me and broke my heart. I left and 6 months later met my husband. I don't want to forget about where I come from or how I became to be where I am. Life is a journey and my grandmother docoumented mine.

Valentina327
by on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:05 AM
She's not in his past. .. He sees her everyday on his slide show... That's a huge problem...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:05 AM
He hasnt moved on. Sorry. :(

Quoting rvb146: The ex fiancé alone and some with him and her. It wouldn't hurt so much but he accidentally called me by her name. We've been together almost a year now. I understand that they were together for 4 years but why can't he at least change his slideshow on his laptop to not have her on it. I'm here now. This is us now. I'm tired of all these reminders of her.

Quoting Tooth_Inspector: No. My husband was married before, as was I. My ex died so I have a few pictures for my daughters but my husband got rid of all photos of his ex once we got married. Why have that threat and wonder in your marriage if that ex truly means nothing?

Are the pictures of the women alone or your DH and his ex?
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN