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Update/Added: Is it normal for men to keep photos of their exes?

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Does your current so, dh, boyfriend, etc still have photos of an ex around?

I've expressed my concerns to my boyfriend about his photos but he says they are to remind him of where he came from and his life experiences. I told him that they make me uncomfortable. He said he won't get rid of them and its not fair because I have pictures of my ex. But my ex is my fathers son. My boyfriend argues that because he isn't around anymore there is no point in keeping them. My son is two and doesn't remember him.



How would you feel? And is this normal for men or women to do?



Update - he deleted the photos on his laptop slideshow without me saying anything. He noticed and apologized. He doesn't use the laptop very much and forgot that those photos were on there.

And.... For the mothers who's child/ren's father is not your current DH, what did you do with the fathers photos? If your child's biological father is not in the picture, where are his photos now?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:44 PM
Replies (41-50):
curvygurl1912
by Renee on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:06 AM

Why would you get rid of pics of your son's father? 

Quoting rvb146: I agree too. But if I have to get rid of photos of my sons father, then there's no reason he should keep photos of an ex fiancé.
Quoting mommytoacloud: No i don't think he should keep them but i also agree neither should you

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:06 AM
Sounds like he would cheat on u
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:07 AM
That is hurtful.

Quoting rvb146: I'd understand that. But his are in his Facebook and on his laptop. I see them by mistake and it hurts me.



Quoting Devious333: I'm not going to ask my dh to throw away memories. He has pics of him and exes at prom. That would be shitty of me to tell him to throw them away. I also have pics of my exes. One of them is ds's bio dad. He was my HS sweetheart and a big part of my HS years. The pics aren't on my wall, that would be different and I would probably make a big deal out of it then...we both have ours tucked away in boxes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:08 AM
There are pictures around here somewhere of my DH's ex wife and an ex girlfriend that he lived with for a couple of years. It doesn't bother me. I know he doesn't pine away for them and I'm confident that if it bothered me and I asked him to get rid of them, he probably would.
smorgan865
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:09 AM
We each have them, but they are away.

I'd never expect him to completely destroy them or throw them away; and he wouldn't expect me to either. They are part of each of our pasts, they happened, no use in trying to erase it.

Now I think it's important for a child to have access to photos of their parents when they are old enough to start asking questions. I wouldn't keep them around and tell him now "this is daddy" if you bf/so/dh is more of a parent than the biological. But maybe in a few years when he's old enough to understand the difference....then have that discussion.
lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:13 AM
Put up in a box somewhere? Maybe. Probably. I don't care. From what I understand my ex husband still has my pictures.

I do have letters from my high school sweetheart. I'm glad I still have them because after a wreck I was able to piece together my memories. I also have some pictures of my ex husband and a couple other exes.

I really don't care about that kind of thing simply because of how me keeping those kinds of things have helped me in the past.
WesAndNicksMom
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:13 AM
He only has one ex and he hates her lol.
Bluerose1482
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:14 AM

I probably have a few pictures of exes around if I really started looking.  I'm sure that dh does as well.  I don't think that a piece of paper with some color on it is a 'threat' to my marriage.   

ambcortez
by on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:15 AM

I think it's different when it's a picture of your child's parent. To just keep photos of an ex as a "reminder" is not healthy. There's probably an underlying issue for him that needs to be addressed.

SeymoreButts
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:17 AM
Photos in a box are fine

Hanging on the wall not so much
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