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how do I ever forgive myself?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies
In 2010 I commited adultery with a guy I used to work with. I broke it off and told my then husband of 15 years. He just couldn't forgive me and filed for divorce.

here over 3 years later I still regreat it. We had 2 children together they are now 10 & 7. I have since moved on I am married again and have 2 children by my now husband. He is good to me and my 2 sons from my 1st marriage and I love him as well as our children.

So my question is why do I so often think about what might have been had I not messed up? I miss my life with my 1st husband. I miss him I miss not being with my 2 kids by him everyday.

Its like I'm in this rut and I can't get out of it I know he doesn't love me anymore he has told me that. I just don't understand how I can ever forgive myself and really move on.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
katyusha42
by Metal Kitty on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Try some counseling. Its really not fair to your now dh that you can't let go of the past. You fucked up, there were consequences now you need to move past that and get on with your life.
markswife03
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:21 AM
Why did you do it in the first place? Were you having problems with your first husband?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:22 AM
Your so right I know its not fair. Maybe I do need counseling.

Quoting katyusha42: Try some counseling. Its really not fair to your now dh that you can't let go of the past. You fucked up, there were consequences now you need to move past that and get on with your life.
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Seek Therapy now before you screw this relationship up like you did the first one

katyusha42
by Metal Kitty on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this
I hope you are able to get past it. No matter how much you rehash it or beat yourself up over it you'll never be able to change it. Don't fuck up the good thing you got going with your now dh because you can't let go of the past. Life's all about learning lessons. Take what you can from it and move on if you can.

Quoting Anonymous: Your so right I know its not fair. Maybe I do need counseling.

Quoting katyusha42: Try some counseling. Its really not fair to your now dh that you can't let go of the past. You fucked up, there were consequences now you need to move past that and get on with your life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:26 AM
Yes it wasn't all a bed of roses. No excuses on my part in doing what I did but he always put his mother before me no matter what. His mother would start stuff with only me and then deny it. I wanted to move from off the inlaws property but then found out his promise that we could always move away if I didn't like it changed. He then let me know I didn't have a choice.

Quoting markswife03: Why did you do it in the first place? Were you having problems with your first husband?
bethpelle
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:26 AM
If you met someone, got married and had 2 kids in the last 4 years then it sounds like you moved way too fast and didn't make time to deal with your divorce
wickedfiress
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:27 AM
1 mom liked this
You moved on rather quickly to not be over your past relationship yet.

Why?
kissmiss213
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:29 AM

 i agree with this 100% you arent doing anyone favors by being stuck on your ex.

Quoting katyusha42: Try some counseling. Its really not fair to your now dh that you can't let go of the past. You fucked up, there were consequences now you need to move past that and get on with your life.

 

curvygurl1912
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:29 AM

popcorn

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