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I've never been on a date...

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:24 AM
  • 4 Replies

Got your attention?!  I should back up and point out that I'm 32, recently divorced; married for 14 years to a man that I've been with since I was 16.  The why's and whatnot's of that relationship are what they are, but I'm in a new chapter of my life.

Having been with him for 1/2 my life, I never experienced 'grown-up'/legal age dating.  With that said, I joined a Meetup group in my local area to meet new people; looking for social networking (yepp, aged myself right there). 

I showed up at one of the social events (Friday evening) and was relieved that although many in the crowd were just out of college, the group ranged in ages from mid 20's to mid 40's; with me right smack dab in the middle.  I chatted with a couple gals that were also new to the group, silently mocking them for calling themselves 'old, outdated, etc.' at a whopping 25-28 years of age and we exchanged information - new friendships abound :-) 

After chatting it up, a few of us decided to brave the sea of people and mingle.  Mind you, a gazillion scenarios went through my head in the span of a few milliseconds (what do I say, what do I do, maybe I should leave, OMG - I have to talk to people)...I should mention that I have bit of social anxiety and the thought of holding a conversation isn't one that I entertain often, if at all.  My friends are all chatty Kathy's so I don't have to even hold a conversation with them, I'm along for the ride.

Mingling wasn't too bad, I interjected a few whitty (whew) comments here and there and just followed the random conversations going on around me.  I said some thank you's (exchanged information with a couple gals so that we could hit the gym together on Satruday) and then parted ways with the group. 

Come Saturday morning, I had received a message via the Meetup that one of the guys I had chatted with wanted to go out for drinks, but would be out of town Sun-Tues for work.  OH.  MY.  GAWD.  I decided to play it cool and waited until Saturday night (longest day ever) and replied that drinks would be nice sometime....Telling myself that he was just being nice and not to worry. :-D

Fast forward to Tuesday.  I get home from the gym and there's a message...for me...from him...wanting to have drinks Thurs or Fri.  And that's when it hit me...I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE!!  My ex and I of course had done things together, but we started dating before I could go to a rated-R movie...so by time I was 'old enough' to go out, it was comfortable - so that doesn't count.

Here it is Wednesday.  I told him Thursday would be good (don't wanna seem desperate and let on that I don't have a life so Friday would have been good too).  But now...I don't know what to do...HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN :-D

What do I talk about?  What are some fun, light-hearted conversation topics (I don't watch much TV nor follow current events...strike one for me).

At this point, the time/place is still up in the air. Do I suggest a time/place or let him (he's been in the area longer than I have)?

We're going for drinks.  Can I/Should I pay for my own?  I don't have a car (I travel for work...this area is my 'home away from home' so I rely on public transportation, etc. when I am here)...do I meet him 'whereever' or do I let him pick me up (I don't know him from Tom, Dick, or Harry)?

Any other advice????

by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:24 AM
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Replies (1-4):
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:28 AM
How exciting! I've been on tons of dates and the most important thing is to be yourself. If he's asking then he's paying lol. I would suggest that he picks the place and you meet him there. I like how you aren't making yourself too available. Guys love a challenge. Have fun!
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Lisha77
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:32 AM
I've never been on a date either. Have fun!!!!
crysiann
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:35 AM
Yep, I agree with this.

Have fun!! :)

Quoting owl0210: How exciting! I've been on tons of dates and the most important thing is to be yourself. If he's asking then he's paying lol. I would suggest that he picks the place and you meet him there. I like how you aren't making yourself too available. Guys love a challenge. Have fun!
jujubear1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:40 AM
I agree with owl. Be prepared to pay just in case lol, but he should be paying since he asked. You can offer to go dutch if you're more comfortable doing that. Meet him there for sure. Follow his lead on conversation. I'm sure you're not so boring you will talk about nothing lol. Good luck. :)
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