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Has anyone had to "discard" embryos? Could use some support from IVF mamas :(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 70 Replies
I'm sure I am crazy for posting this here, but I could use some support from mamas who have gone through this.

I went through IVF and have one embryo left. We are currently paying several hundred dollars a year to preserve it, and DH is pushing to discard it.

I know it is time, but for some reason I can't convince myself to do it. We are done having children, so this is surprising to me that I feel so bad! I think the sadness is from a combination of making it official that I will never have children again, and the absurd (but real) feeling of "I will never have a daughter." Right or wrong, this is sad for me, despite loving my two boys more than anything in the world.

Has anyone gone through this? How did you convince yourself to do it? Did you feel sad? Did it get better quickly?

Thanks in advance for any support!

***a few notes to try to keep the crazies from responding (ha!)***

1. We are done having kids. I am almost 42, we have two beautiful boys, and my last pregnancy was very hard. Two children was also a clear agreement with DH.

2. We do not meet the criteria to donate, so don't bother recommending it.

3. They will discard the embryo eventually anyway I think in ten years), so it is inevitable.

4. There is no point in telling me you oppose IVF, since I have already done it and love my beautiful children more than life itself. So save your breath :)

5. I don't care about people's opinions about whether it is a ball of cells vs. a baby. That is not the point of this post, so please don't bother. The point of this post is about sadness of letting go of any future chance of giving birth.

I am really hoping for support. Thanks.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:14 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:14 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:14 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:14 PM
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brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:15 PM

:'( Its very hard to discard but if you cant donate then its going to happen. Save your money :) good luck!

Photo: -Randi.

momtolittleg
by Ruby Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:16 PM
Yikes. I would not want to have to make that decision. Good luck- no advice though. Here's a bump!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:16 PM
Thanks. Have you gone through it?

(I appreciate your support either way!)

Quoting brettsmomma:

:'( Its very hard to discard but if you cant donate then its going to happen. Save your money :) good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:18 PM
Thanks. I guess it's similar to having tubes tied, but that at least you have the thought of "oh, it's reversible"

Plus, it feels weird, like this one embryo is just sitting around :(

I think it would be strangely easier if there were a bunch!

Quoting momtolittleg: Yikes. I would not want to have to make that decision. Good luck- no advice though. Here's a bump!
brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:18 PM

No. I cant imagine.

Quoting Anonymous: Thanks. Have you gone through it? (I appreciate your support either way!)
Quoting brettsmomma:

:'( Its very hard to discard but if you cant donate then its going to happen. Save your money :) good luck!


Photo: -Randi.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:19 PM
Thanks. I never imagined feeling like this!!

Quoting brettsmomma:

No. I cant imagine.

Quoting Anonymous: Thanks. Have you gone through it?

(I appreciate your support either way!)

Quoting brettsmomma:

:'( Its very hard to discard but if you cant donate then its going to happen. Save your money :) good luck!

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