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it's NOT fair!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 69 Replies
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I have two 8 year olds one dd and one sd (eowe) and both LOVE American Girl. We've always tried to keep things fair between them as far as gifts go. As their interests change its getting difficult so we try to spend the same amount on them, even though they don't get the same thing or even same quantity (example:1 big gift vs 3 smaller ones).

Well my mom was in town and gave each of them $100 to spend shopping this weekend with her. They started with lunch at American Girl store where the money burned a hole in sd pocket my dd did buy one outfit for her doll she'd been wanting for a while but saved must of her money for later.

They continued to wander around the city and eventually stopped at a consignment store which by crazy happen stance had just gotten a bunch of doll stuff (mostly AG). So my dd used the rest of her money buying a lot of stuff. Sd I guess was pretty upset that my mom wouldn't give her more money to buy more stuff and started having a fit in the store.

My dd told her it would be ok and they could share everything when they got home to play. Everything was fine until Sunday night when sd was getting ready to go back to bm, she wanted to split dd's purchase and take it with her :/

Again there was a fit over what's mine what's yours and what's fair. I explained that they were dd's and she could share while she was with us but she couldn't bring them home with her because it's not fair to dd. Well she shoots back that dd got more stuff than she did so it's not fair to her, and dh agreed that she should have been given more money (from my mom?!?) To get more things so they would have equal amounts. He even tried guilting MY dd into giving sd a couple outfits she bought to make things "fair" and equal between them.

So what do you ladies think? Who's right and what's fair? I'm trying to be understanding of both sides but I'm still annoyed with my husband for trying to give stuff my kiddo bought away!
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SaratheN
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:08 PM
5 moms liked this
I think the other kid wouldn't be getting shit until she can clean up that attitude.
balagan_imma
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:13 PM
11 moms liked this

I think that both your DH and SD need a serious reality check. And a lesson in how spending works - $100 is $100, it's how you spend it that counts. Spend more on 1 thing and you get less things, um, duh. I can partially see SD not completely getting it, she's 8. Your DH, however, is off his rocker.

I think it's absolutely wonderful that your mom treated both girls, not her biological grandchild only. Your DH needs to see that. And also that he and his child should be grateful for the money, not having a fit because she didn't get more.


Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:17 PM

I remember once when my Grandparents gave all us kids $100 to spend.  My brother and sister bought big fancy things, I found a sale on the dolls I'd been wanting to collect.  (Old cartoon characters like Bugs, Daffy, etc.)  I ended up buying 40 dolls of all my favorite cartoon characters!  My brother and sister were actually pretty jealous that they only got a couple of things, but I still have my doll collection.

$100 is $100.  I'd go talk to DH a bit later, with reciepts if you have them, and remind him that SD had the exact same opportunities to save/spend as DD and that instead of teaching her a valuable life lesson he taught her a very poor lesson.  Then leave it alone and let that sink in.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:28 PM
And I understand that she's young and it was her first reality check that she can't always have everything she wants. Mom and dad weren't there to buy her more stuff and it sucks but it is what it is.

My mom loves sd and has always treated the girls equally. If she had the money I'm almost positive she would've bought the whole lot from the store but she doesn't have a whole lot of money to begin with :/ I had to sneak and put extra money into her purse

Quoting balagan_imma:

I think that both your DH and SD need a serious reality check. And a lesson in how spending works - $100 is $100, it's how you spend it that counts. Spend more on 1 thing and you get less things, um, duh. I can partially see SD not completely getting it, she's 8. Your DH, however, is off his rocker.

I think it's absolutely wonderful that your mom treated both girls, not her biological grandchild only. Your DH needs to see that. And also that he and his child should be grateful for the money, not having a fit because she didn't get more.

ladybugchick317
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think that sd needs to learn this lesson about managing money like dd did.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:31 PM
We let hertake her things home and promised that next visit she could share dds things again. This was a few days ago but I'm still sick over how it played out kwim?

Quoting SaratheN: I think the other kid wouldn't be getting shit until she can clean up that attitude.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:33 PM

Sounds like sd and dh need a dose of reality,  they each got $100 they each spent it how they wanted,  it doesn't make it not fair that some one got more than the other because the monetary value equaled out to $100! 

Miller0305
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:35 PM
I agree. If you want to act like an ungrateful brat you get nothing

Quoting SaratheN: I think the other kid wouldn't be getting shit until she can clean up that attitude.
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Miller0305
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:36 PM
Sick because you feel bad for your stepdaughter or sick because of her awful attitude?

Quoting Anonymous: We let hertake her things home and promised that next visit she could share dds things again. This was a few days ago but I'm still sick over how it played out kwim?

Quoting SaratheN: I think the other kid wouldn't be getting shit until she can clean up that attitude.
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thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:36 PM
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Your dh is an asshat so its no wonder his kid has the same attitude.
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