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My confession: I'm jealous

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 108 Replies
I'm completely jealous of moms that got to have vaginal births. I'm jealous that they got to experience it. I'm jealous they got to hold their child first, whereas my dh got to hold both of our children first. I'm jealous that their SO got to cut their baby's cord, whereas my dh has never gotten to cut one of our children's cords. I'm jealous they got to experience labor, whereas I was cut open. I'm just jealous, and I have made the decision to not have anymore children. I'm jealous to the point it's bordering on hate. I refuse to have a 3rd cesarean and I refuse to continue feeling inadequate due to the fact that my body fails at giving birth. Judge me all you want. I just had to get this off of my chest.

And to those of you that ask why does the birth matter, it does to some of us. Some of us want to give birth the way we were intended to so badly that we feel like we were robbed of an experience. Don't tell someone to get over something when you have never been in their shoes. You don't understand, fine. Most people don't.

ETA: I know having two cesareans doesn't make me any less of a mom or a woman. I just feel robbed and jealous :(

Also, the reasons I had cesareans are the following:

Cesarean #1: Failure to progress. I didn't dilate for two hours after being induced. Dr rushed to a cesarean.

Cesarean #2: First cesarean. Baby didn't come by week 39, so the cesarean was scheduled.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Well you are not a 'real' mother since you did not birth them like a woman is meant to. I understand why it upsets you.

woodswalker
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I had both.   A cesearean and a VBAC.   Vaginal birth sucked just as much as my csection.   I wouldnt do either one of them again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:19 PM
A cesarean doesn't mean you aren't a real mother. If you think I think like that you're nuts.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well you are not a 'real' mother since you did not birth them like a woman is meant to. I understand why it upsets you.

AZHOTMOM
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:19 PM
4 moms liked this

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well you are not a 'real' mother since you did not birth them like a woman is meant to. I understand why it upsets you.

 Well, your a real cunt aren't ya?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:19 PM

if your kids are happy and healthy, that's all that matters, mama.

I had 2 c sections and I also wonder what labor would have been like.  Most ppl tell me it's like pushing a watermelon through a pinhole in terms of pain.  LOL.  *just to make you smile....not bashing*

yummypeaches
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry you feel like you missed out. You can't change it so the best option is to try and figure out how to accept it and move on. It's not healthy to harbor those negative feelings. It does not make you any less of a mother.

OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:20 PM
1 mom liked this

Your mentality is all wrong and THAT'S where your dark feelings are stemming from. The point is that you DID get to enjoy giving birth thanks to medical advancements whereas many women earlier in history would have died from the same complications. It's not a blessing, exactly, but it's not a curse either.

 photo anigif_enhanced-buzz-7782-1364935841-8.gif
AVE SATANAS!
Mom-to-2kids
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:20 PM
3 moms liked this
The hell kind of nonsense is this?

Quoting Anonymous:

Well you are not a 'real' mother since you did not birth them like a woman is meant to. I understand why it upsets you.

woodswalker
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Anonymous: A cesarean doesn't mean you aren't a real mother. If you think I think like that you're nuts.
Quoting Anonymous:

Well you are not a 'real' mother since you did not birth them like a woman is meant to. I understand why it upsets you.

 I believe she was being sarcastic, OP:)

hautemama83
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:20 PM
Can't say I feel the same.
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