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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My dd snooped through her sms phone

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 334 Replies
She found some texts that really upset her. She's 13. I guess they were really negative regarding my daughter and stated that she's almost got my exh to agree to not take her for his visitation this summer so that way they can be a real family without the added burden of my dd.

I had a very long discussion with my dd about snooping in other people's stuff and respecting their privacy. I've also brought this up with her therapist for advice on how to best deal with this situation.

The fucked up part is her dad has recently told me that he didn't know if he could take dd for visitation this summer because his schedule was all messed up.

I don't want to tell him that she snooped and what she found but I know she's going to be devastated when she finds out he doesn't want her there! I know its going to break her heart and that breaks my heart because I can't stand to see my baby hurting.

I have always encouraged a close relationship between them and am at a loss of how to handle this besides what I've already done.

I'm worried if I talk to her dad he will take her for visitation to avoid hurting her feelings but then I would be concerned about sms treatment of her while she's there. I almost think its better to just let it play out now rather than her getting hurt in the future if this woman truly does not want her in their lives and apparently has so much control over what my exh does.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:14 PM
2 moms liked this
No advice. But I'm sorry for your dd, I hope her dad has a change of heart.
Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:15 PM
That's awful :(
Nutrition_Guru
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:16 PM
9 moms liked this
That's what the brat gets for snooping.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:16 PM
8 moms liked this

She sounds like a bitch that doesn't deserve to have your dd in her life and him their is no excuse for that. Its his kid he should cherish her not let some woman control his every move and tell him that they are a real family and a burden with his dd their. I want to punch her for you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:16 PM
26 moms liked this
Ask the therapist if you could have a group session with DD, you and her dad. Let him know before hand that she snooped and found text messages that have left her feeling unwanted and not welcome in his home.
FoxFire363
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:19 PM
I'd let it play out. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My dd will soon be facing something similar from her dad. The best thing to do is be a source of comfort for her, IMO.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:20 PM
22 moms liked this

I think you need to let her Dad know that DD snooped and knows SMs real feelings regarding her. 

 

Bluerose1482
by Platinum Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:20 PM

This exactly.

Quoting Anonymous: Ask the therapist if you could have a group session with DD, you and her dad. Let him know before hand that she snooped and found text messages that have left her feeling unwanted and not welcome in his home.


bleumonster
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:21 PM
I probably would try have an honest and open conversation with the ex telling him what she found and what your concerns are. Maybe you can come to a compromise or solution.
sheramom4
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:21 PM
8 moms liked this

She shouldn't have snooped, but at the same time, now she knows and it can be dealt with. She probably already had an idea of how her step mom felt and now it is confirmed. 

I agree with the PP who said have the therapist do a session with you, her and dad (on the  phone if needed) to talk this out and for her to safely tell what she saw in the texts. 

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