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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What "Oh God, I'm such a mom" question do you find yourself asking?

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:42 AM
  • 80 Replies
2 moms liked this

25 Crazy Things Only a Mom Would Ask Herself

by Jeanne Sager

frustrated motherThe other day I sent my husband a frantic email asking, "Did you remember to put [our daughter's] lunchbag in her bookbag this morning?" These are the sort of questions that haunt me now that I'm a mom. Did I pick up a present for little Johnny's LEGO birthday party this weekend? Will the stretch marks EVER fade? Will my boobs ever look like they did when I was 20?

Yes, it's true, ladies, you are the same woman after kids. But the questions that plague you are not. Behold ... if you ask yourself any of the following on a regular basis, well, you might just be a mom!

1. Is that poop on my hand?

2. (During sex): Oh my God, did I just hear footsteps?

3. Is that someone breaking into the house or did the dog just step on the See N Say again?

4. How looooong until bedtime?

5. When is the last time I ate a meal that wasn't in nugget form?

6. Who even thought to call them nuggets anymore? Doesn't that sound like something you'd dig out of your nose?

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7. Speaking of noses ... is that leftover food stuck to the table or a dried booger?

8. Is cereal for dinner healthy? Oh screw it. KIDS! Rice Krispies! 

9. Do I REALLY get to go to the grocery store alone tonight? Yippee!

10. Did I take the frog out of his pocket before I threw those jeans in the wash?

11. Does this minivan make me look like a mom?

12. Is this song from Yo Gabba Gabba or The Wiggles?

13. Is Sleeping Beauty's real name Aurora or is that Snow White? Which one has the little dwarves and which one has the fairies? And why do I care again?

14. Is there a kid with peanut allergies in Sam's class or is that the one in Lila's? Or is the kid in Lila's class allergic to strawberries? Crap ... I hope we have turkey.

15. Will they need therapy if I keep calling them by the dog's name?

16. WHY did I sign up to be a chaperone? WHY?

17. Cheddar Bunnies or Goldfish?

18. If I joke that I want to sell my kids to the zoo on Facebook will someone report me to CPS?

19. Does Twilight Sparkle have the purple mane or the pink one?

20. What the heck is a Ninjago anyway?

21. Is Chuck E. Cheese the 7th circle of hell or is that a playdate with Jimmy and his mom? Maybe the 9th circle?

22. Can they really tell this is a diaper bag?

23. How do you get Desitin out of carpet?

24. Will my kids be embarrassed if I wear a bikini? Will I be?

25. Do LEGOs sprout extra pointy edges in the middle of the night?

What is your "Oh God, I'm such a mom" question that you find yourself asking?

by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
alexsmomma06
by Platinum Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:44 AM
11 moms liked this

"How long can I stay in the shower before I must go out and see the damage that has been done to the house?"



raschwittay
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:46 AM
Honey! The toilets plugged again! I think it's a train this time!
raschwittay
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:47 AM
4 moms liked this
Okay, is that pee from the dog, or my two year old?

Love potty training..

Wait... Is that pee???? What is that......
raschwittay
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:49 AM
2 moms liked this
In a crowd of people you don't think twice about putting your face in your childs butt to sniff for poop.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:49 AM
9 moms liked this
Baby is sleeping through the night for the first time:I must check to see if he is breathing... crap I woke him up, it's going to be a long night....again

Yes, this has happened to me!
Hoppers33
by Gold Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this
What's worse? Letting him carry around a dirty blanket or dealing with the meltdown that sneaking the blanket into the washer will result in?
bhow
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:53 AM
2 moms liked this

"Is she eating cocoa puffs they dumped on the floor is is rabbit turds?"   After thought ... the rabbit turds are probably healthier.    LOL!!!

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I just dug an entire roll of toilet paper out if a poopy diarrhea filled toilet. Thanks DS, thanks.
raschwittay
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:54 AM
Exact same thing here!

Quoting Hoppers33: What's worse? Letting him carry around a dirty blanket or dealing with the meltdown that sneaking the blanket into the washer will result in?
SerenityBerry
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 9:59 AM
8 moms liked this

Does a crayon qualify as a snack?

What can I eat with one hand in under 2 minutes that is sort of healthy?

Can Elmo's world come on demand? LIke just Elmo's world not the whole seasme street episode.

What time is Imagination Movers on?

Which twin pooped today?

Why is there a block in her diaper? Did she put it there or did her sister? 

Is that a bite mark or a bruise? 

Where the heck is the Little People chicken? Did the dog eat it?

How much imaginary tea do I have to drink?

Why do the kids on Austin and Ally not have a lawyer or parent present when they sign things?

When is the new Disney Channel movie coming out? Which blonde girl is in this one? 

Why the hell do my 8 year old Brownies want to sing Timber at the meeting? Seriously?

Do half eaten crayons and hair ties breed in diaper bag?

Did we remember the wet bag?

Is that toy possessed or does it just need new batteries?

Where the hell is the off switch!!!!

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