Well he came back last night. He still believed we can work this out. I told him he is crazy. Though at one point he started to get angry about it. So maybe it was sinking in that I wont be part of his delusional fantasy. He wouldn't leave so I ended up locking myself in my ds's room. Well after he left for work I called my sister and told her. She flipped and told me a lot of the same things you ladies did. Like she would have not handled it as well as I did. I feel bad about all of this but I know it isn't my fault and am learning that standing up for myself doesn't make me a bad person. Well my sister told my parents and my father called dh. DH and my father always held a lot of respect for eachother. Apparently he said some things that really got to dh because he is blowing up my phone. I haven't told my Dad he is still contacting me. I don't want him to show up at his work. I know he will. Dh is texting me that he wont give up period. He will do whatever he has to, to keep me. His gf text me once telling me that I shouldn't give up on him so easily. That he truly loves me. I gave my sister her # and haven't heard from her since. I am going to talk with a lawyer next week. Until then I am going to try to avoid/ignore dh as best I can. This is the beginning of a long road. Thank you all for the support and advice. This whole thing is so bizzare. I can't believe I have both of them trying to get me to be a part of this.
They came over. I had made dinner and I don't even know why I did. I couldn't eat anything. Anyway, I took your advice and told them I know dh is the father and they need to tell me the truth. He looked fine but it was her face I saw what I needed. He denied it and I told her that she owes me the truth. After a lot of back and forth. I stood my ground. Finally, he tells me they had sex quite a few times over 2 months time and then stopped. She found out later she was pregnant so they started seeing eachother again. He swears they stopped having sex and he was just trying to be there for her since he got her pregnant. He told me he loves me in front of her and he doesn't want to lose me. I knew he was the father but it still shocked me. To hear it out loud like that. She told me she truly wants to be my friend and hopes I can forgive her. I told her that will never happen. She should be ashamed. He told me I need to consider it. That he wont give up on our marriage and seems to think we can all be a "family". Seriously he used that word. He even brought up that we have a guest room and it would be "an ideal situation". He truly believes I'll come around and embrace her into our lives. He has been telling her that is his plan. He says he knows me and I just need time. I told him that he needs to leave and take her with him. He said he will give me some space but will be back. That we will work this out.
So I am home alone. I have cried as much as I can for one night. I don't know what I'll do come tomorrow. I don't want to see him or her. He keeps texting me. I haven't replied. How can he think I would want to bring her into our lives? I feel like I don't even know who he is anymore.
Update #2: Thank you ladies for all the support and advice!
I couldn't wait. Once he got home I told him we needed to talk and showed him the phone. He told me he was relieved that I snooped because he didn't want to keep secrets from me. Apparently she is 6 months pregnant and he has been helping her since she isn't with the father. He said he didn't tell me because he was afraid I would be upset but he really couldn't turn his back on her. I told him how hurt it made me and he apologized. Well we went together to meet with her today. She apologized too and kept telling me what a great guy I have. They want to continue to be friends and I couldn't say no. But I asked questions about the baby's father and she kept giving short answers. Like she didn't want to talk about it. So my mind keeps thinking is my husband the father? Am I being played? Or is this just paranoia? He wants her to come to dinner tonight. I just feel so awkward around them both. Like it just isn't right.
My husband has been acting really distant and just different lately. He always has his phone by his side. Well he went over to a friend's house and forgot it. I have it right here....Should I snoop? Or just leave it alone? I'm so tempted. I don't know what to do!
Should I cool it or should I blow?
I'm even more confused now. I found these on his facebook. No other texts or anything though.
They don't show anything clear cut bad. But why is meeting up with her? This is a woman he said he went to high school with and they don't ever talk. What are your opinions? I need help/advice. What do I do now?