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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

deadbeat gparents trying for visitation (long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 33 Replies
I am going to try to keep this simple, bear with me.

My "step"son is almost 6. His bio mom abandoned him right after his first birthday, at which point ds (I don't consider him step son and you will see why) came to live with my now-dh and I full time. Sole custody was awarded to my dh a year later, as it took a year to track down and subpoena bio mom. She has only seen ds a handful of times since he was 1, and no contact at all since he was 2.

Bms parents saw ds 2 times between age 1-2, and not at all since. We have been, through the entire time, accessible by at LEAST social media, they did have our address/phone before, but as they chose to distance themselves we did not update contact info with them.

Ds has no recollection of bm or any family members of hers. He just found out last fall that I am not his bio and is doing well with the info. A little clingy to me, but tells me frequently that he's happy he has me as his mom.

Last fall grandparents filed for visitation. A law guardian was assigned, interviewed ds and recommended the petition be dismissed bc the child did not know these people, and was well adjusted at home and it would not be in his best interest to visit grandparents. Petition was dismissed.

They then filed in OUR county, as they filed in theirs the first time and it should have been filed here. They didn't show to court. Dismissed.


Now they are filing again, claiming gma was sick at time of court. For the record, bio mom hasn't peeped up at all during any court case. She was incarcerated during the last 2, but I think she's out again. Her parents have custody of her 3yo that was taken at birth due to cocaine and heroin in his system. Ds does not know he has a brother by biomom.

I am so sick of this following our family. Dh and I are married, have a 2yo ds together that ds LOVES to pieces, and have a generally normal, happy life. Dh runs a plumbing warehouse, I'm a sahm. We want to terminate rights and have me adopt, which was always the plan, we just didn't want to rock the boat yet and disrupt ds life if unnecessary.

If you read ask this, thank you. I don't know what I'm expecting here, advice if you have any, encouraging words, keeping my ds in your thoughts/prayers etc. I'm just mentally drained and want to keep my ds out of family court, the place where I spent my childhood after my parents divorced.

Thanks for reading.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:39 PM
1 mom liked this
They won't get any visitation don't worry.
MagicMonkey
by Cilla on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:42 PM
Best wishes, they sound unstable and hopefully, based on that alone, they won't get visitation
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:43 PM
That is good to hear. I keep telling myself that but it is worrying. I don't think he will have the same law guardian if it comes to that again because the counties are different. The whole family is batshit crazy and the grandparents would, as they did in the past, do nothing but lie to my son about why his bm is not involved

Quoting Anonymous: They won't get any visitation don't worry.
csxt99
by Jennifer on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:44 PM
2 moms liked this

Get moving on the adoption sooner rather than later.  As for the grandparents, you may have to just grin and bear it for now.  If it's dismissed again, maybe look into suing them for harassment.  Maybe that will work to get them back into the woodwork they crawled out of.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:44 PM
Thanks. They are unstable, the whole family is. Batshit crazy.

Quoting MagicMonkey: Best wishes, they sound unstable and hopefully, based on that alone, they won't get visitation
poietes
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:46 PM
Since there has been no contact at all have you guys looked at stepparent adoption? Good luck, hope it all gets taken care of smoothly.


Edit, sorry just retread that you are trying, missed that in the beginning, again, good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:46 PM
My dh said something about pressing charges for purgery because their entire basis for requesting visitation is lies, for instance saying every card or letter they've sent was returned to maker, except cards with money. They've never sent anything, ever.

Quoting csxt99:

Get moving on the adoption sooner rather than later.  As for the grandparents, you may have to just grin and bear it for now.  If it's dismissed again, maybe look into suing them for harassment.  Maybe that will work to get them back into the woodwork they crawled out of.

Shy_Dia
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:47 PM
I agree. Adopt asap

Quoting csxt99:

Get moving on the adoption sooner rather than later.  As for the grandparents, you may have to just grin and bear it for now.  If it's dismissed again, maybe look into suing them for harassment.  Maybe that will work to get them back into the woodwork they crawled out of.

csxt99
by Jennifer on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:48 PM

You might want to hire a family law lawyer and look into it.  Are you taking a lawyer into court each time?

Quoting Anonymous: My dh said something about pressing charges for purgery because their entire basis for requesting visitation is lies, for instance saying every card or letter they've sent was returned to maker, except cards with money. They've never sent anything, ever.
Quoting csxt99:

Get moving on the adoption sooner rather than later.  As for the grandparents, you may have to just grin and bear it for now.  If it's dismissed again, maybe look into suing them for harassment.  Maybe that will work to get them back into the woodwork they crawled out of.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:50 PM
Yes that is the goal, we just didn't act on it before because we didn't want to rock the boat if unnecessary, the longer with no contact the better our case.

Quoting poietes: Since there has been no contact at all have you guys looked at stepparent adoption? Good luck, hope it all gets taken care of smoothly.


Edit, sorry just retread that you are trying, missed that in the beginning, again, good luck.
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