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Cleaning to get married Update 1&2

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I know most of you are rude mean and annoying at times , But I need Help ! OK SO wants to marry Me but he says he won't till I get The house House Decluttered and anything thing not being used or Old to small/big is to be removed ect . His reason is we shoud have a clean slate to live from once married .Also his stuff is not off limits either .

How do I start ?

Do you think this is fair to do ?

*Update* The clutter is His and Mine from before we got together , My grandmothers stuff , My kids and his kids stuff all in a 3 Bed 1 Bath house . Its just a bit over Whelming for me . He Does help but he is often working but he trys his best .

*Update2* He came home and I explained what all you Lovely ladies were saying , He agreed that he should not have asked so much of me with out helping so , we are going to be doing this together . and we plan to either sell what we can or give to Good will Tax write offs are always nice 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:14 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:39 PM

So you dont clean or ever get rid of clutter? Or are we single?

Quoting csxt99:

I'd tell him to fuck himself.  He wants a maid, not a wife.

by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:41 PM

To tell you the truth, I don't find his request all that unreasonable.

Mainly because my dh is such a pack rat. I, on the other hand, was raised by an ex-navy guy. We moved a lot and lived by the rule that it was easier to get rid of things rather than move them. My dh's clutter bothered me before we got married and he always said he would work on it.

16 years later, we still have boxes that came out of the attic of the place he lived in before we were married...they are now taking up much needed storage space in our home and have done so since we moved here 15 years ago.

I wonder how many here would think I was only going to marry him in order to have a maid, had I made the same request of him....which I honestly wish I did. I think if I told him to make sure all the clutter was gone before we got married, he most likely would have. As it is... I live with his clutter. 

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:42 PM

Thankyou and I will admit that i do get emotional attachments to stuff too and I get what he is thinking too that it be better for us over all .

Quoting Leelee1008:

Yep. I think its a good idea.

YOu want a few bags (for trash) a box for donations and then a box for keeping.

If you have not worn it in atleast a year to 2 get rid of it. If you dont use it, get rid of it. YOu keep the things you use often.

I used to have really bad emotional attachment to everything.... My life and home became over cluttered and was horrible. Finally I broke down and said enough. I started with my kids old clothes... I sold half of what I had for my boys. Things that were not in great shape I tossed. things that were in ok shape I donated. Then I did my clothes, dh's clothes.. old toys. I do the toys twice a year. were still working on the kitchen.. mostly because it alot of my grandmoms stuff, and she is having a hard time getting rid of stuff... But its a work in progress.. I promis you, you will feel good getting rid of things... eventually

by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:43 PM

try spending 1-3 hours in one room each day until it is done...and make a trip for droping off donations after each cleaning day and you should be done in under 2 weeks..

by the sauce is boss on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Ultimatums are so bizarre.
Do you need to clean the house? Yes.
But do it our he won't marry you? Wtf.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:47 PM

he does help , and thankyou I thought it was odd to but hey my cousin would not marry her husband till he was 200lbs from his 350 so I guess this is a type of personnal self improvement 

Quoting Pnukey:

That may be the oddest pre-marital request I've seen on this site, ever.

Whether it's fair or not is subjective, but it's definitely weird. I wonder if he will come up with another request/stall tactic after you do this.

Cleaning the room - start with clutter and trash first, then laundry, and work your way up to larger items, which may or may not include your boyfriend.

by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:48 PM
Take all the junk to the goodwill and Organize the rest
by Kay on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:50 PM

ok, anything that has not been touched in at least 3 months.... get rid of it, or put it in storage.... Go through everything else as a couple and decide what should stay and what should go.... Maybe re-arrange the furniture starting with the most important stuff, what doesn't fit goes into storage as well or something. Or if you two don't like a piece, change it.... take an old crib and turn it into a bench... etc an old from your grandma, that just feels out of place? but you love? recover it.... Do this each weekend until your house feels clean, organized, and like its yours.

by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:51 PM
Well if his stuff is game I would start there.
But in all seriousness when dh and I decluter we do it together. We plan a weekend we will both me home with the least amount of kids around. We start in our collect all room which use to be in the back of the house (we have no eleminated that problem). Then we work forward. Bathroom, kitchen, our room, living room, my office, front porch, then move upstaires to the kids rooms (which the help with). After that we go to the basement, garage, and camper.
Just keep moving until it is done and you have reached your goal. But decludering doesn't always .mean getting rid of stuff. It could mean just better organizing of the stuff you do keep.
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:52 PM
I read something about having a later pile. If you do not use it after it has been there for a week get rid of it.
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