Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Cleaning to get married Update 1&2

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I know most of you are rude mean and annoying at times , But I need Help ! OK SO wants to marry Me but he says he won't till I get The house House Decluttered and anything thing not being used or Old to small/big is to be removed ect . His reason is we shoud have a clean slate to live from once married .Also his stuff is not off limits either .

How do I start ?

Do you think this is fair to do ?


*Update* The clutter is His and Mine from before we got together , My grandmothers stuff , My kids and his kids stuff all in a 3 Bed 1 Bath house . Its just a bit over Whelming for me . He Does help but he is often working but he trys his best .

*Update2* He came home and I explained what all you Lovely ladies were saying , He agreed that he should not have asked so much of me with out helping so , we are going to be doing this together . and we plan to either sell what we can or give to Good will Tax write offs are always nice 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:14 PM
Replies (61-67):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:43 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

How long have you had "SO"?  If you want to him to marry you, I guess start pitching.  Keep us updated on what he requires before you have children, take vacations, etc.

4 years now ,  we been engraged two of the 4  , we have 1 child together and one each from a diffrent relationship. He told me the other Day " we been saving two years and I know we are ready but is the house ready for what people might give us ? We as in me and you not just you need to clear this house and make it ready for our new life . You and I both have stuff from what will be our Old lives , we need to let go . And babe I think your grandmother won't be made if you give away her old clothing I am sure he has much better where she is at ." That is what he said to me he brought up clearing the house of Clutter  

 Reading your explanation makes me feel as if hes right.  (and a good guy) 

PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:46 PM

I would begin by pitching all of his stuff.... ALL OF IT and end with him!

Ryanswifey42012
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:49 PM
Go for if.
kaycersmom
by Katie on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:49 PM
Don't marry someone who tries to bribe you or gives you an ultimatum. . Thats how you start.
md3mom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:51 PM

Read this article, paying close attention to number 5.  Any ultimatum is a deal breaker in my book. If he is really that worried about it, he should start with his stuff and then, he can include you in the process.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/_mobile/sex-love/relationship-advice/signs-you-should-marry-him?src=soc_fcbks

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:59 PM
Thats been my mistake in the past

Quoting Leelee1008:

oh and a bit of advice... Dont try doing it all at once. Do a little at a time. If you try to do it all in a day, you will overwhelm yourself.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thankyou and I will admit that i do get emotional attachments to stuff too and I get what he is thinking too that it be better for us over all .

Quoting Leelee1008:

Yep. I think its a good idea.

YOu want a few bags (for trash) a box for donations and then a box for keeping.

If you have not worn it in atleast a year to 2 get rid of it. If you dont use it, get rid of it. YOu keep the things you use often.

I used to have really bad emotional attachment to everything.... My life and home became over cluttered and was horrible. Finally I broke down and said enough. I started with my kids old clothes... I sold half of what I had for my boys. Things that were not in great shape I tossed. things that were in ok shape I donated. Then I did my clothes, dh's clothes.. old toys. I do the toys twice a year. were still working on the kitchen.. mostly because it alot of my grandmoms stuff, and she is having a hard time getting rid of stuff... But its a work in progress.. I promis you, you will feel good getting rid of things... eventually

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 11:04 PM
He is a great guy i just suck at wording things

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting Anonymous:

How long have you had "SO"?  If you want to him to marry you, I guess start pitching.  Keep us updated on what he requires before you have children, take vacations, etc.


4 years now ,  we been engraged two of the 4  , we have 1 child together and one each from a diffrent relationship. He told me the other Day " we been saving two years and I know we are ready but is the house ready for what people might give us ? We as in me and you not just you need to clear this house and make it ready for our new life . You and I both have stuff from what will be our Old lives , we need to let go . And babe I think your grandmother won't be made if you give away her old clothing I am sure he has much better where she is at ." That is what he said to me he brought up clearing the house of Clutter  


 Reading your explanation makes me feel as if hes right.  (and a good guy) 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)