Dh can't handle my emotional venom, update apparently he can.
he was awake when I got home this morning. He wanted time to think about what I said. He said although I could have told him sooner, instead of exploding, he understands and agrees. We are going to call and make appts for counseling for the girls on Monday and he promised to cut down ds's video game/tv time. (my dh is a sahd and an excellent one) and he also liked my idea about putting all three kiddos in tball/softball. So to all ya'll saying he should leave me and I'm abusive, you weren't there and you don't know my sd's background. And to those being understanding thank you so much you're wonderful :)
So I found out recently that I am pregnant with my third child. Ok cool congrats to us w/e, but tonight I am just not a good person to be around, but I dont want to be alone either :/ I was irritated about dh's dd dropping a cup on my dds head (heavy metal thermos lid cup) intentionally, because my dd had tripped and dropped an empty plastic cup on her toe. Sd admited the whole thing laughing. I told her to go to her room and wait for her dad. (sd is 10, dd is 7) two minutes later she comes downstairs demanding a phone call because being in her room is prison and she deserves her phone call. (kinda funny i know) Then preceded to tell me how evil of a sm I am.
Well dh said just call it even. I was really irritated so I left to do some work. I came home like 40 min later to them having a good time she's laughing and telling me she loves me and she's sorry she was mean to me. I asked if she apologized to dd, and she asks why? I didn't want to start it up again so I kissed her head, dd's head, and ds's head and went and laid down. Dh comes in with what's wrong and talk to me please? and then he goes back out.
He comes in a min later and lays down with me and so I tell him every bad thought in my head from sd is just like her bm, manipulative and laughing at other peoples pain is sick! My dd is going to end up like I was as a kid, a low self esteem and praying for friends, and ds is going to be like dh an introvert who's obsessed with video games who jumps at the first girl who pays attention to him.
I was horrible and I really don't know if I meant it or I was just upset, or if its hormones?? Either way, I'm at work now and he's not texting and won't answer the phone like normal. I hope he just fell asleep and isn't really angry. Now i am just sad. I am so glad i am alone tonight. I think it's probably not even a big deal, maybe it just feels exagerated in my head? I hate being upset or crying in front of people.