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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

we're fighting because he says I am being unreasonable!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

I hate fighting with DH but sometimes we have disagreements, every couple does at some point. We have been married for six years, we have two kids both girls Scout is 9 *yes born before our marriage so sue me* and Emory will turn 2 on April 1st. I have always been a working mother. I enjoy my job and I work for a school so I get ample time off with my kids.

Here is where the fighting began, in the last few months Adam (DH) has been talking about having a third child (we want four total well..he want four but I want three) and we have agreed to start trying. Now, suddenly, Adam wants me to quit my job and become a SAHM when the next baby is born. I asked him why he wanted that since he's never vocalized that want before. When we had Scout we had a very lengthy discussion and it just so happened that Scout was born in June so I was home with her all summer and by the time school began again she was almost three months old so she went to daycare and I went to work. When we had Emory things were a little different, she was an April baby so I ended up taking my maternity leave at the end of March and didn't return until the following school year. Yes in reality we would do just fine on Adam's income alone.  We would not be in a tight spot, things would still work well.

The problem is....I need to work. I do not do well cooped up in a house all the time. I love the kids, on the weekends we are in constant motion unless someone is sick. I don't think my mental stability would remain "stable" if i had to be home 24/7. I realize it's not actually being at home all the time we can go out and do things but I would feel like I was being chained to the home. Adam says I should just quit and suck it up and find ways to keep busy. I say let me work because I get vacation from June until August plus Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break ect.

Am I really being that unreasonable? He's acting like I am saying I want to rule the world. All I want is to keep my job.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Not unreasonable at all, not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM, and there is no shame in admitting you are one of those women

I am not either, I need to work for my own sanity
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:04 AM
I do not think its unreasonable to want to work.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:05 AM
Therapy. you can explain something to him where he can understand it so you guys need to have a third-party explain it to him for you
gabenmikeysmom
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:07 AM
Maybe you could compromise? Go down to part time?
mamaninny
by Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:07 AM
No, you are not being unreasonable. He is.
Mommy_Natural
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:07 AM
Not unreasonable at all. I am a teacher and it's the best of both worlds. I have so much time with my kids. However, I need and want to work as well. I hated being a SAHM, I was one for 5 years and I'm happier working. I'm just a SAHM for the summer and during all the breaks. :)
eztwins
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:09 AM
I don't think your being unreasonable. Although you didn't state his reasoning for you staying home ? Not that it should change your feelings, I just find it easier to come to agreements with my dh when I know where his feelings are coming from. I can usually validate them and bring him around to my side when I know this info.
AthenaRadhaGaia
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:10 AM
Tell him to be an at home dad.see how he likes it being done to him
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:10 AM

I don't think it is unreasonable to want to work. But then again I understand his position not putting an infant into daycare if it is not necessary. Maybe he can stay home for awhile?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:10 AM


Quoting peanutsmommy1: Not unreasonable at all, not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM, and there is no shame in admitting you are one of those women I am not either, I need to work for my own sanity

I love the time we DO spend together and I think I cherish it all the more because I am working and not with them all the time. When I try to explain it to Adam he says  that sounds terrible to admit aloud.

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