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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

first right of refusal. Edited

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 195 Replies

Currently i am a sahm. My ex works 2nd shift. If and when I get a job it will be 2nd shift, which will be the opposite shift of my SO. So he will be the one to watch my kids. I know that my ex will have an issue with that but theres nothing else i can do. If i put them in daycare my ex will have to pay for it and he will refuse to pay and i will have to pay for it and thats just a waste and there would be no point in me even having a job. Do you think a judge would do anything about my SO watching my kids while both me and my ex are working?

(first right of refusal is in our divoce decree)

 

Edit:

I've been with my SO for 3 years, we have lived with each other since we were together 8 months. We also have a kid together. He would never hurt my kids, I've seen the news and ive never had that fear when it came to my SO. Hes more patient with them then their bio dad is. Hes not the one that punishes them, i am. he knows his place as the boyfriend/future step dad and wouldnt cross that line. He doesnt have anything against my kids because they dont belong to him. He loves my kids and has been in their lives since they were 2, 1 and 7 months old. They are 5, 4 and 3 now.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 23, 2014 at 11:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
4girlsmum
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:22 AM
5 moms liked this

I would never leave my children with a boyfriend, not his blood, so the tolerance level goes way down and you end up with dead kids.......seen it a million times

Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:25 AM

I don't think a judge will do much. Does your ex get along with your so? Do the kids like him and vice versa?

Nutrition_Guru
by on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:27 AM
If there's first refusal then the ex gets first dibs in watching the kids. That's why it's there. He'd be stupid not to use it.
bluebunnybabe
by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:29 AM
I'm reading it as he'll be at work too. If he's already ok with OP living with the SO & hasn't tried to take that to court, I don't know what he could do about him watching the kids.

Quoting Nutrition_Guru: If there's first refusal then the ex gets first dibs in watching the kids. That's why it's there. He'd be stupid not to use it.
liltampa71
by Platinum Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:30 AM
2 moms liked this

If you are both working 2nd shift, he can't take the kids, therefore he'd have to refuse and you find other care.  It doesn't mean he can force you to work another shift.

crumpy_gat
by No. on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:30 AM
2 moms liked this
Wow

Quoting 4girlsmum:

I would never leave my children with a boyfriend, not his blood, so the tolerance level goes way down and you end up with dead kids.......seen it a million times

allycally
by Platinum Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Split the childcare
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:33 AM
2 moms liked this


Quoting 4girlsmum:

I would never leave my children with a boyfriend, not his blood, so the tolerance level goes way down and you end up with dead kids.......seen it a million times

not always true. You're an idiot.

My boyfriend is MORE patient and tolerant with my kids than me (and def more then their deadbeat dad) because he grew up with adhd like my kids and can BETTER relate, understand adn deal with their issues


Fields456
by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:38 AM
No idea not familiar with first right of refusal it's not in my divorce decree/custody order
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
4girlsmum
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:39 AM
3 moms liked this

 I dont care what you think I am, I would never do it

Quoting Anonymous:Quoting 4girlsmum: I would never leave my children with a boyfriend, not his blood, so the tolerance level goes way down and you end up with dead kids.......seen it a million times

not always true. You're an idiot.

My boyfriend is MORE patient and tolerant with my kids than me (and def more then their deadbeat dad) because he grew up with adhd like my kids and can BETTER relate, understand adn deal with their issues

 

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