16 & pregnant update went to the doctor yesterday update after talking to sister-in-law and brother.
My sister-in-law told me that my brother and her have been trying for a baby for over a year now, and have been unsuccessful. She told me that my brother and her want to ask me something very important, but they want to do it together. I get the feeling that they are wanting to ask me for my baby, but she wouldn't elaborate any further.
I got home after spending time with my sister-in-law and told my boyfriend about her wanting to ask me something important and he also thinks she is going to ask us to give her our baby. He was angry, he kept saying it's not an option, he doesn't want to see our child raised by its aunt and uncle.
When they do ask the important question they have, how do I tell them no, I appreciate the offer, but my baby is mine, and I'm keeping it? Without them also disowning me? Is there even a way to do that? Maybe that's why my mom wants me to move back, so she can influence my decision, so she can force me to give my brother and his wife my baby.
I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, it was a long day and I was exhausted.
Update after sister-in-law and brother dinner.
It didn't go well. The whole thing was a disaster. They showed up with my parents, I was surprised but continued on with dinner as planned. My mom made sure I knew how to cook and taught me to always expect extra guests, so there was enough food for everyone. That was definitely not where the night went wrong. My dad came, he wouldn't even look at me, my mom didn't really say much, she kept telling my sister-in-law to say what she needed to say, so we could discuss as a family what to do with my situation.
I told them I was going to go to the kitchen and serve dinner and to please sit down at the table. My boyfriend came into the kitchen with me to help. I told him I wished that they would have told me they were bringing my parents. I wasn't prepared emotionally for this. I broke down and started crying right there in the middle of the kitchen. My boyfriend took me in his arms and reassured me that he was there and we would get through this night. I knew it was going to be a difficult night.
I pulled myself together and dished up the food and started bringing it out and setting it in front of everyone. After dinner was on the table and everyone was seated. I tried to start by saying I really appreciate them being here, but my mom told me that I would have my time to talk after my sister-in-law, brother, herself, and my dad got a chance to speak.
Before I could say anything more, my brother spoke up. He said, "my wife and I have done a lot of talking over the weekend before your appointment on Monday, and we have decided that we want to help you, we want to take your baby and raise it as our own. We want to help you not ruin your life." Before he could continue on his I'm the hero, here to save the day routine, my sister-in-law cut him off and said, "what your brother means, is that we would like to adopt your baby so you can finish school and go to college, and..." She looked at my boyfriend, "and, not force you two to be together just because you have a child together."
I was shaking at this point, I was angry, I was hurt, I was ashamed, I was so many things I couldn't contain myself. I stood up and I told them, "no, you will not take my baby, no I will not allow you to adopt my child. My life is not ruined." My dad sat up straight, looked at me sharply, and said, "sit down, young lady." I said, "no! This is not your house this is my boyfriends house and my house and I will not be spoken to like a child in my home." He said, "you are a child, and I will speak to you how I see fit, now sit down."
My boyfriend touched my arm and looked at me pleadingly, so I sat. I reacted badly, I know. I sighed, looked up and apologized for my reaction. I said, "I'm sorry, but my mind has been made up, my boyfriend and I have talked and we are keeping our baby and raising him or her on our own." My mom spoke up next, she said, "no, no you're not. Your brother has made a generous offer to handle your problem for you, and I will be damned if I let you refuse his generosity." I was floored. My sister-in-law said, "this isn't your decision, this is hers and it sounds like she has made up her mind. I can't say I blame her. If this were me I would be just as offended as she is. We can't force her to give us her baby..." I started crying, I couldn't contain it any longer. I excused myself and went into the kitchen to cry.
I could hear my dad in the dining room talking to my boyfriend, I couldn't make out what he was saying. My sister-in-law came into the kitchen to comfort me. She said, "I'm sorry, your brother and I should have known better, than for you to just be okay with this. You know how your brother is, he's bad with words. We...I...I, just wanted you to know you had an option to give your baby up to people you knew." I looked at her, tears streaking down my face, "why did you bring mom and dad? Why would you do that?" She said, "they insisted on coming."
My mom came into the kitchen in a panic, she said, "your father and your boyfriend are going to kill each other. Your brother is in the middle of them...trying to separate them." I sighed and stormed into the dining room to find my brother in between my boyfriend and my father, both ready to kill each other. My father was hollering at my boyfriend, "my daughter isn't good enough for you to marry, but she is good enough for you to fuck and impregnate with your bastard? You'll marry her before the bastard is born or I will..." I hollered as loud as I could for them to stop. I stood between them, which I now realize was stupid. My dad swung and hit me instead of my boyfriend his intended target.
I'm not really sure what all happened after that. All I know is that as soon as I woke back up, I was on the couch, my head was pounding and I had an icepack on my face with everybody hovered over me except my dad.
As soon as I was conscious again, my boyfriend asked everybody to leave.
I skipped school today, because I have a black eye that I can explain, but sounds really bad. I'm having my sister-in-law get my homework for the rest of the week.
I don't know who I mad at me and who isn't, and I really don't care. Things got way too out of control last night. And I have a splitting headache still and my face hurts.
But there's the update. My assumption was right. And the night was a disaster.