We met about 2 years ago, clicked instantly and have been close ever since. We are opposite in many ways but thats never been an issue for us. (The best way i can describe it is she is a little rough around the edges) I came to adore her for that though because she just is who she is and isnt afraid of what people think of her. There is one thing thats really been bothering me and im afraid if i dont say something her children could be in danger. I noticed when i first visited her home she wasnt much of a housekeeper, i let it go because everyone is different and i am one of those clean freaks that has to have everything spotless so it wasnt fair to make a judgement based on how i do things. However, over the past year its gotten progressively worse....to the point of being unsanitary. The kids are always dirty (soiled diapers, dirty clothes on, dirty hands and faces). I usually help her clean house when i come over and she always says "i wish i could clean like you but i just cant". So ive tried teaching her some easy ways to keep things tidy and organized but its useless. They leave trash, dirty clothes, dirty diapers, dirty dishes EVERYWHERE. The smell is almost unbearable. Last time i was over, the kitchen was so nasty i was gagging while cleaning. There were probably 2 or more weeks of dirty dishes and pans with food in or on them strewn all over the counters. Plates with food molded on them all over other rooms, on the coffe table, under the couch, etc. Trash and empty food boxes scattered all over the floors. The worst part was while i was cleaning i picked up 30+ soiled diapers from various places throughout the house. I could go on and on but thats the gist of it, its been like that everytime ive gone over for the last year. Last week she came to my house, as soon as they came in the smell was awful. To the point of making me gag. My husband says im not being a true friend if i dont sit her down and give her some tough love. She has 5 kids, three of which are 3 years, 1 year, and 6 months. Thats not a healthy environment for those babies and i know that. If children services walked into her home, i have no doubts those kids would be removed immediately. Im afraid its only a matter of time before someone reports her. So the question is, how do i have this conversation with her and still let her know that i am here to help not judge?
Eta: Thank you to those who have already responded, it will be later on today before i can sit down and reply back but i appreciate any advice i can get...this has been weighing on my mind for sometime.