Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

it isn't victim blaming to say

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 359 Replies
11 moms liked this

That women should be more aware of the situations they are in, and try to avoid risks.

How many of you would say that it was MY fault, if I allowed my young teenager to go to a party with people I didnt know, consume alcohol and walk/make her way home alone... and while she was in this situation that I allowed, she was injured/raped by someone. It wasnt her fault, she is a child... but as an adult who is responsible for her, I would have to take some of the blame, RIGHT?

So, why? Why as an adult with that responsibility for MYSELF, I no longer have to take those precautions of knowing who Im with, maintaining a level of sobriety, and traveling in numbers? And if something were to happen to me while I was in that situation... no one would be to blame except the person who abused me?

Obviously, very few rapes/assaults happen in those situations, but why chance it? I mean, if you'd feel responsible for allowing someone else to put themselves in that situation, why wouldnt you feel at least somewhat responsible for putting yourself in that situation? 

(another obviously, obviously, the person ultimately responsible for the abuse/rape is teh person abusing/raping... And no matter the situation that the victim allowed themselves to be in, they should seek full legal repurcutions for that person. Along with therapy and medical attention.... Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world and you are much more likely to be raped or assaulted under your own roof, but maintaining a level of awareness when you ARE out on the town is still important)

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:13 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:22 AM

I had a post before about how my rape was *partially* my fault because of the situation I put myself in and you should have seenthe women here insisting otherwise.

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:22 AM
57 moms liked this
Oh this shit again? I have the right to walk around anywhere in a free society and not become the victim of a violent crime. It is ALWAYS the rapists fault regardless if I'm walking around naked or walking through a bad area.
mommysangelface
by Emerald Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:25 AM
8 moms liked this

exactly

since when are victims blamed for someone else not controlling themselves


smh

Quoting owl0210: Oh this shit again? I have the right to walk around anywhere in a free society and not become the victim of a violent crime. It is ALWAYS the rapists fault regardless if I'm walking around naked or walking through a bad area.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:26 AM
14 moms liked this
No, she still wouldn't be to blame. A woman should not have to expect to be raped. That is the point. People like you cannot get that through your thick heads. Do you blame victims when they are shot to death in the mall? After all, they did not have to be at the mall. If they were aware of their surroundings, they would not have been shot. That sounds as ridiculous as what you are saying. Rape is about violent crime, not sex.
iamcafemom83
by Ruby Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:28 AM
5 moms liked this
Because it is vixtim blaming to say "well you shouldn't dress that way", "you shouldn't have been out so late",
"No wonder you were raped, going to a party and drinking! "

Imagine going throigh one of the scariest things in your life, and people blame YOU for it, instead of the person who couldn't keep it in his pants.
Josie_P
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:28 AM
8 moms liked this
You can take as many precautions as you want and still be raped. I mean, I think everyone, regardless of gender, should know basic personal safety but at the end of the day, the person committing the rape is the only guilty party.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:29 AM
5 moms liked this
I think all women should learn self defense, situational awareness, and be independent.

But it is NEVER the fault of the rape victim. Never.
Lilith23
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:31 AM
4 moms liked this
Well sorry that us women tried and make you understand that it was not your fault, at all.
If you aren't happy and still want to believe that it was partially, a quarter, a 5th of or a decimeter of your own fault then go ahead. But I'll stick to believing that it is never the victims fault.

Quoting Anonymous:

I had a post before about how my rape was *partially* my fault because of the situation I put myself in and you should have seenthe women here insisting otherwise.

Bethsunshine
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this
This. It's just good common sense to be aware of your surroundings for reasons other than rape.

Quoting Josie_P: You can take as many precautions as you want and still be raped. I mean, I think everyone, regardless of gender, should know basic personal safety but at the end of the day, the person committing the rape is the only guilty party.
LuvmyAiden
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:33 AM
11 moms liked this

I don't think the victim is ever to blame but I think a lot of people take stupid unneccassery risks. Why not try and keep yourself in a safe situation if you can? Why not choose to know how to protect yourself and be situationally aware? The crime is the fault of the perpetrator but you can choose to make yourself a much harder person to victimize!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN