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Can you please take a moment to tell me how stupid I am?

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:41 AM
  • 39 Replies

Can domestic violence relationships ever be "fixed"? 

I had moved on from my soon to be ex husband, and now hes back in the picture and feelings are going crazy and I just need someone to smack some sense into me. 

No violence was towards my kids or ahead of my kids. 

So just please take a moment to tell me how completely stupid and wrong it would be and that it never gets better.

Or someone smack me through the screen please.

by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:43 AM
3 moms liked this

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:44 AM

I've never been in an abusive relationship but I'm positive that it's not a go idea to get back with your abuser. o_0

Is there a shortage of men where you are or something? How about just working on yourself?

LiliM
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:44 AM
1 mom liked this

*sigh*

What has he actually done to change, other than to woo you back with as of yet unmet promises?

It doesn't get better. 

Do not move back in with him.  Keep some distance, and tell him you need it. See what happens then.  He won't be able to keep up the mask.

Don't mess with Granny.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:44 AM
3 moms liked this

AKDlove
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:45 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I've never been in an abusive relationship but I'm positive that it's not a go idea to get back with your abuser. o_0

Is there a shortage of men where you are or something? How about just working on yourself?

No. But we were together 5 years and the idea of having my family back, and all the happy times we had, are trying to overcome the bad times. and i'm trying to fight it. but i'm tired, and been drinking and confused and just a mess.

yummypeaches
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:45 AM

Remember how it felt when he hurt you? Reeeeaaalllly think back and go to that dark spot. 

.....

OK now do you REALLY want to do that again???

owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:45 AM
You're not stupid but abusers do not change. If anything it gets much worse over time. Read the book called "Why Does He Do That?" It was written by a counselor who has worked with abusers for 20 years and has not once seen any abuser change and stop abusing. Stay safe.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:48 AM
1 mom liked this
Are you familiar with the cycle of violence?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:48 AM

Stop drinking and clear your mind.

Quoting AKDlove:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I've never been in an abusive relationship but I'm positive that it's not a go idea to get back with your abuser. o_0

Is there a shortage of men where you are or something? How about just working on yourself?

No. But we were together 5 years and the idea of having my family back, and all the happy times we had, are trying to overcome the bad times. and i'm trying to fight it. but i'm tired, and been drinking and confused and just a mess.

 

AKDlove
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:57 AM


Quoting Anonymous: Are you familiar with the cycle of violence?

Yes.

I grew up in an abusive home, and then I was in an abusive relationship. I don't want it to keep going. Its just hard to turn down having my family back.

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