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Am I overstepping here??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies
So, DF told me this morning that he found out on Facebook the other day that he may have an 8 yo son. Apparently, he dated this woman for a very short time and she just contacted him and said that the boy is his and she wants him to get a DNA test because she and her husband are divorcing and her husband is trying to take the child from her. All sounds a little odd to me, I'd be interested to hear the whole story on that.

Anyway, I'm not mad at him or anything. He thought I would be, which I thought was funny because I obviously can't control something that happened 8 years ago. He said if it is his son he wants to be part of his life. I told him I would have been upset if he didn't want to.

Anyway, he said he has to meet up with the woman sometime this week so he can do the DNA test. I asked if I could go with him. He said I could, no argument. My thinking was that if this child is going to be part of our lives, I want to be involved, and I thought as a mother that she would probably want to know who else would be around her child. Plus, I'll admit him meeting up with an ex makes me a little uncomfortable.

So, there's no argument between me and DF. I just thought after I asked to go with him that maybe I overstepped, and wanted opinions.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
livric
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:28 AM
7 moms liked this
Sounds like you are handling all this really well. All the best :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:33 AM
Thanks :)

Quoting livric: Sounds like you are handling all this really well. All the best :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:35 AM
I don't think you're overstepping.
myshoes
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:36 AM
Sounds supportive.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:38 AM
No, not overstepping at all.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:38 AM

It sounds like you are being supportive, not intrusive. And since he did not protest, I don't think you overstepped at all. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:38 AM
Ok good, that's what I'm trying to be.

Quoting myshoes: Sounds supportive.
Lifeisadream
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:39 AM
No you are not overstepping!

Be involved for every inch of the way.

Not only that, but why do they need to meet up for DNA testing?

Sounds crazy because testing is done at a lab.

Why meet up and meet the child before you, he, or she even knows if the child is his?
cara124
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:42 AM
This!

Quoting Anonymous:

It sounds like you are being supportive, not intrusive. And since he did not protest, I don't think you overstepped at all. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:44 AM
1 mom liked this
He said she's doing the at-home kind that you mail off. And he wasn't sure about where they were going to meet, but he didn't want to have her mail something and have our address in case the child isn't his and there's no reason for her to know where we live.

The way I understood it, the child will not be there. That would seem crazy to me, too, until the results come back.

Quoting Lifeisadream: No you are not overstepping!

Be involved for every inch of the way.

Not only that, but why do they need to meet up for DNA testing?

Sounds crazy because testing is done at a lab.

Why meet up and meet the child before you, he, or she even knows if the child is his?
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