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not sure if posting this here is a good idea..but I feel so alone

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 126 Replies
I'm a single mom to a 10 year old young lady and a 5 year old boy that requires a lot of attention.. I've been single since I became pregnant with my son 6 years ago and found out my sons dad was cheating on me..I decided then i was going to raise my two children single.. I wasnt going to dwell on not having a man..I was going to put on my big girl panties and do it... in January a guy friend id had been friends with for years and I decided we were both ready for this.. I had grown and became happy with who I was and was confident I had done everything right. 2 weeks into our relationship I found texts that he not only cheated on me with 5 girls but he was also shooting up meth. Because we only saw each other twice a week I really didn't know..I obviously ended things immediately. A week later I found out i was pregnant.. from the get go I knew I needed to have an abortion. I scheduled it right away...I go in on the 5th if April. I hate this..I keep trying to find one way to make this work..I keep trying to find one reason I shouldn't go through with this..but every thing in my body tells me I'm making the right choice..I'm a mess.I start my nursing clinical rotation tomorrow..at a pediatric office and next Monday I start at an ob/gyn office.. it's going to be hard.. even though I know it's the right choice it's still hard. I'm 28 years old and never thought I'd be in this situation.. but bc I cant let his lies and messy life in my 2 childrens life I have to do it..I just feel so alone..no one understands..no one gets it.. it's going to be the toughest time in my life and I know it'll haunt me forever..but I'd rather it haunt me than let it follow my kids for forever.. we used spermicide... I did it all right.. it sucks and I just really need to get it off my chest..
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:29 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:36 AM
6 moms liked this
Have the abortion and know you are doing what's best for you and your children.
Oh and spermicide is the least effective for of BC there is... at least use condoms AND spermicide together. If he was shooting up and cheating, I would be very worried about STDs and HIV. Go get tested and move on
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:42 AM
I realize that.. I have done every method of contraceptive..the shot screwed me up bad.. the nuva ring made life miserable and caused a lot of infections.. my dr wouldn't let me get the iud bc I wasn't in a stable relationship.. note I went to her to get on antidepressants and she tells me I shouldn't kill the baby and that she won't give me anything because I may change my mind..my whole life since I was 9 ppl gave shoved antidepressants down my throat and now that I need them and I'm reaching out I'm denied.. I just wish I had someone..my best friend just suffered a miscarriage and even though she says she supports me and understands and agrees I'm making the right choice she's become distant..it's tough..really rough..

Quoting Anonymous: Have the abortion and know you are doing what's best for you and your children.
Oh and spermicide is the least effective for of BC there is... at least use condoms AND spermicide together. If he was shooting up and cheating, I would be very worried about STDs and HIV. Go get tested and move on
cdb7519
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:46 AM

Have you thought about adoption at all?  Maybe in that way something very positive (someone else who really wanted a baby being blessed with one) could be the result of an otherwise crappy situation. Not judging, just asking. The loneliness from the break up will go away with time. Maybe with the new job you will get busy and not think about it so much.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this
I am not the OP, but I could never go through a preg and then adoption with other children that are old enough to understand there's a baby coming. Especially a 10 yr old that will be crushed knowing their brother or sister is being raised by other parents. At least having an abortion, the other children will not need to know.

Quoting cdb7519:

Have you thought about adoption at all?  Maybe in that way something very positive (someone else who really wanted a baby being blessed with one) could be the result of an otherwise crappy situation. Not judging, just asking. The loneliness from the break up will go away with time. Maybe with the new job you will get busy and not think about it so much.

lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs mama. Maybe if you write down the pros and cons on having it that will help you.

LoveVenus
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 11:00 AM

I agree!!

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Hugs mama. Maybe if you write down the pros and cons on having it that will help you.


Jblb
by Emerald Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 11:04 AM
Think about how you will feel after.

After the abortion, or birth (if you keep it) , or adoption.

I think you have made your decision, it's hard and it sucks but good luck to you!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 11:05 AM
This exactly... that's the reason I made a point to make it clear how old my children are.. my 10 year old would stress about it so much..she'd come up with ways we could keep the baby etc etc..if she was younger 2 or 3 I would consider it..but I can't with her being 10.

Quoting Anonymous: I am not the OP, but I could never go through a preg and then adoption with other children that are old enough to understand there's a baby coming. Especially a 10 yr old that will be crushed knowing their brother or sister is being raised by other parents. At least having an abortion, the other children will not need to know.

Quoting cdb7519:

Have you thought about adoption at all?  Maybe in that way something very positive (someone else who really wanted a baby being blessed with one) could be the result of an otherwise crappy situation. Not judging, just asking. The loneliness from the break up will go away with time. Maybe with the new job you will get busy and not think about it so much.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 11:06 AM
I have..which is how I know I'm doing the right thing..doesn't make it any easier though

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Hugs mama. Maybe if you write down the pros and cons on having it that will help you.

lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous: I have..which is how I know I'm doing the right thing..doesn't make it any easier though
Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Hugs mama. Maybe if you write down the pros and cons on having it that will help you.

  Try to stop dwelling on it. Keep thinking I am doing what best for me and my kids ! Huge hugs mama.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

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