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I honestly think she hates me

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:19 PM
  • 23 Replies
Ever since I was little even before my parents divorced, my mom has always treated me like the worst possible thing in her life.
She had a baby before me that died at 6days old due to heart surgery that failed. I don't know the whole story but she was broken for a year and decided to fill her emptiness with me. The first guy to make her feel okay was my bio dad. He didn't want me so he allowed his best friend (my moms first husband) to sign my birth certificate. My bio dad ran away from me. This other guy had left my mom for a year. Within that year my mom slept with someone else and lost the baby. That guy and my mom got back together. Had two boys, my brothers. They separated again for a few months and my mom again slept with someone else. Found out she was pregnant with my sister after going back to her husband. They decided not to tell her til she asked.

When I was in 2nd grade my mom locked me in a room for two days cause I laughed that she slipped on a stair. I didn't mean to but I was in a room for two days straight.
In 3rd grade she started hitting me cause my grades sucked. She cared more about drinking than helping me.
4th grade she always left me with my grandparents while she took my half blood siblings out.
5th grade she screamed that my teacher felt sorry for me so she passed me because I had 5 Fs out of 7grades. 6th grade she came to school and called the police on me because I was holding hands with another girl.
7th grade she called me a whore for talking to guys (we were studying for finals)
8th grade she stopped caring.
9th grade she forced me to smoke an entire carton of cigarettes because my sister called saying I was selling when it was my brother. I'm allergic to smoke, I got extremely sick.
I ran away and she told police I stole 900$ from them. That again was my brother...
My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade.

I moved in with my dad the middle of 9th grade. Became pregnant the middle of 10th. Before my mom found out, she called saying she's having her surgery redone so she can have another baby. After she found out, she changed her mind and continued saying she's a better mom than I can ever be.
2008 I had a baby boy. When he was 6months old my mom said I was her biggest mistake she only wanted me cause her heart was broken.

2010 I had another baby but I was 6months along and lost her.. (My entire family doesn't know because I kept telling them I was just fat and I wasn't around for the first months. I had a small bump because I wasn't getting nutients or the vitamins I needed...

2011 I had another baby boy. My mom through me and my new born out (my oldest was with his dad) into a tornado storm cause she "had a bad day at work". I gave him to a loving family... He's now 3yrs old.

2012 I had another boy and now myself my almost 2yr old and my almost 6yr old live with my amazing fiancé in our own apartment.

2009 I went to prom with this guy. No nice hair nice dress or shoes or makeup. Just me.

Yesterday she took a bazillion pictures of my sister, nice hair make up shoes dress just perfect. My mom is all bent backwards for her. Congratulations on this and that...


Where's your congratulations for me mom??? I got my own apartment! I am getting married next June, I'm going to college this fall... I might not be your pretty little Barbie doll but you wanted me! Everyone else was an accident. Why do you hate me now?
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:24 PM
Feeling sorry for yourself will get you nowhere. She's an awful bitch that will probably never admit that she is a horrible person. Put it behind you and move on.
MrsErdos2011
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:31 PM
2 moms liked this
She hates herself and misery loves company. It's easier to blame others (you) for her problems than it is to own up to them.
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:34 PM

 I'm sorry. Every girl wants to be loved by her Mom.  Why don't you actually have this conversation with her, laying it out like you did here.  CALMLY.  Maybe you will get her attention? 

EmilyH87
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this
If she is that shifty of a person, and you are doing fine for yourself, she does not deserve the energy and emotion wasted on her. Obviously that's not something you can just turn off, but just look at what you have been able to do and are going to do without her support. You don't need her or her approval to live a great life from here on out.
jjames1990
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:51 PM
The happiest day of my life was when my mother died. Sometimes mothers are toxic. You can not keep toxic people around! Dont allow your children to see your mother abusing you. Cut her off.
Rmlupin
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 1:51 PM

Cut her out of your life entirely.  Worked for me. 

mommyrebecca
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:18 PM
I did talk to her about it, tried anyways. She ignored most of what I had to say. She said I was nothing but a liar and that I was making her out to be a bad person... I take pictures of both of my kids, I take both of my kids out, I read to my kids I play with my kids I take of them I don't leave one of them out.
She takes my sister tanning, she takes my brothers out of town, she refuses to have anything to do with me

Quoting TranquilMind:

 I'm sorry. Every girl wants to be loved by her Mom.  Why don't you actually have this conversation with her, laying it out like you did here.  CALMLY.  Maybe you will get her attention? 

chickadees
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:19 PM

Who needs her.

mommyrebecca
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:25 PM
Sometimes I think about her dying not that I wish it upon her just in general. And I don't ever see me crying.... Is that bad? Is that part of how she's been treating me? She actually said this to me in 2nd grade
" you thought that was funny how funny do you think this is, I hate you and when you die for thinking fear is funny I won't be there" before she locked me in a room

About 4months after I turned 17 (my oldest was 6months old) she said "you act like you're trying to have another baby. Ya know I only had you because my heart was sore from losing ****. I regret it everyday because I wouldn't be a 36yro grandma right now. I hate that I slept with the first guy I saw after he died but I felt it would solve my broken heart. You only make things worse"

I guess none of it bothered me til I watched her do everything for my sisters prom that she didn't do for me

Quoting jjames1990: The happiest day of my life was when my mother died. Sometimes mothers are toxic. You can not keep toxic people around! Dont allow your children to see your mother abusing you. Cut her off.
mommyrebecca
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:25 PM
Family is important.... She gave birth to me. Neither of my dads cared. She at least stuck around...

Quoting chickadees:

Who needs her.

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