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My husband is always playing the victim

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
When we argue I always look like the bad guy because I'm loud-its just how I express myself. He's always calm and throws subtle jabs and smart ass remarks which piss me off further.
My sister has seen us argue before, she never takes my side. Always makes me out to look crazy, and had the nerve to say I was abusive.
DH is just passive aggressive, he always gives the silent treatment and I hate being ignored. He says "talk to me when you're calm" to make me seem crazy.
He's so subtle and manipulative, he knows what he's doing and he knows no one would ever take my side
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:49 PM
Well you seem pretty proud of being loud (yelling) I am betting your Sister is right. You don't have to be loud to get your point across. It's pretty counter productive.
NonaScheib38
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this

If you understand that this is happening, you should start working on ways to calm yourself down. Stop worrying about who is "taking sides" or winning the argument, and start considering compromises to arguments. If it's stuff that's happened in the past, think of little interventions to put into place that would stop history from repeating itself. Think for a long time before you say something- ask yourself WHY you are angry...get it narrowed down to something that was an action so that the solution could be an action. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:51 PM
People get loud with me and I tune them out. When you are ready to communicate like an adult-come bqck and try again.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:52 PM
I'd leave him. That's ridiculous.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:54 PM
2 moms liked this

How ironic. The one claiming her husband "is always playing the victim" blames her husband for her lack of control. Who, exactly, plays the victim? 

randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:54 PM

Well, then quit your fucking yelling.  I don't see what he's doing as manipulative or passive aggressive.  He doesn't want to get into a screaming match with a high strung bitch.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:55 PM
This a million times!! Gotta love irony!

Quoting Anonymous:

How ironic. The one claiming her husband "is always playing the victim" blames her husband for her lack of control. Who, exactly, plays the victim? 

cdjd23
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:55 PM
If you can't be calm enough to not raise your voice I wouldn't talk to you either. The fact that you are pissed he refuses to get into a screaming match with you is pretty juvenile.
Lilith23
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:55 PM
Your husband must be my twin.
Because; you do look crazy when screaming, you look absolutely ridiculous when you can't sit down and talk it out, and the smart ass comments are for the fun of seeing you dig a deeper hole.
Calm down phsycopath, this isn't Big Brother 15, nobody will take your side because you need to leave others out of your marital issues and tone that screaming down.
It's called talking, people have been doing it for the past thousands of years and it exists in many language. Try it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 2:56 PM
Don't yell. Whisper. It works.
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