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Can you be separated AND

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 59 Replies

Still live in the same house as your spouse. Dh and I are having some problems, details not important.  We are going to work on our marriage but I think we should be "separate" but not leave the home.  Is it possible?  We want to keep kids routines as normal as possible while we work on things.  

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wooly
by Knitting Maniac on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:18 PM

Why not? Just sleep In Separate rooms. My ex and I did it for a while.

littlesippycup
by Baby T-rex Arms on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:20 PM

Do what you have to do. Lots of luck =)

sweetnsassymami
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:20 PM

I think if your intentions are to work on your marriage it could work. In my case we weren't working on it so he had to get out. Gl

elzmnsf
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:21 PM

I don't know if I could do it BUT there's a lady in here who lives in a home with her, her kids, her xdh, her bf, and her dad. So, I guess it can be done by some.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you. I believe our marriage is salvagable. We start counseling tomorrow.  I hope he believes the same. We will discuss that in counseling tomorrow.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:24 PM

I don't think I could do that. If he were  not willing to work on it, then I think it would be too awkward.  I know I am willing.  Life has a way of throwing kinks in the plans sometimes.  I am determined for our marriage to survive. There are some deal breakers though and that will be discussed at our first session. 

Quoting elzmnsf:

I don't know if I could do it BUT there's a lady in here who lives in a home with her, her kids, her xdh, her bf, and her dad. So, I guess it can be done by some.


Pink.Sunshine.
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:26 PM

We did it lol and divorced, and stayed in the same house. I'm sure it wouldn't have stayed that way and probably why we ended up back together. We did lay some ground rules of no dating until we're living separately, but that never happened :)

  


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this
It can work if you have a plan and set boundaries. My dh and I did this several years ago. I moved into the spare bedroom.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:47 PM

Thanks guys. I just hope and pray we can get through this. My heart is sad that it has come to this.  We don't argue fuss and fight but some things we agreed upon during our vows are not being held to in our marriage. Well, he isn't. He hasn't crossed any lines that I am aware of, but has come close. I know I am not perfect. I have done my best to be a good wife but need to work on some areas to be ...well I am not sure. That is why we are going to counseling.  I will do what I have to in order for us to work it out. I will change what I need to change in me. I can't change him.  I love him.  I think he loves me,but doesn't know how to show it. I think it probably stems from things he didn't work out from his childhood.  He has/had a very controlling mother.  I am sure that contributes in there somewhere. In any case, I believe we can do this. I think he is willing.  We will set up the ground rules in counseling. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 3:50 PM
The two couples I know who did it are divorcing. One of the women had to get a restraining order because the guy snapped.
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