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post partum depression.. freaking out

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies
I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow to get diagnosed with ppd.

I already know that this is what it is and I am terrified of hearing it from the doctor

My baby is 5 months old, and I still don't have a bond with him

I resent my husband because I have to work, but the mother of his first born never did. He worked 3 jobs to make sure she got to stay home. He lost his job while I was pregnant and new has a minimum wage job. I'm tired of being the only one contributing to real expenses

I resent my babysitter because she always has done problem or another with one of the kids. I pay you, do your job so I don't have to keep leaving work early. I can't afford anyone else, because if my husband shitty job, but I also can't afford to pay his child support and car payment so he can stay home with the kids

I resent my baby because he takes my attention from my oldest son. My first born, who had always been my little side kick

I resent my older son because he won't just shut up when the baby us sleeping, which is rare

I don't want to do anything with or for my kids

I'd rather lay on the couch and sleep

I over react big time to little things, like today my son knocked over my step daughters tower she was building, on purpose. I grounded him from his video game. When he said he didn't care, I threw the whole console in the garbage

Yeah, not really effective parenting there. Especially considering I'm not throwing away all that money, all I took it out of the garbage and put it in my room

I don't want to cook, and even though my husband has been coming every night, I've been eating take out, or not eating because finger time is the only time I can go take a relaxing bath without being interrupted

and then I cry because I'm not losing weight.

I've been a horrible mother and wife for months now. I know I need to fix this, but I'm so afraid that they are going to take my babies from me because I've been such a shitty mom for so long now
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this

As long as you are feeding your children, protecting them and not abusing or neglecting them, they will not take your kids away. I had PPD too...getting help was the best thing that ever happened to me. Medication got me back on track quickly. Go tomorrow, be honest with your doctor, for yourself, and especially, for your children. 

msalice_21
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:44 PM
Your doing the right thing seeing, admitting and even more getting help for this. I don't think your a bad mother, just needing some help. *hugs* it'll get better! Promise!
other_mother
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:50 PM

I had ppd as well. I hope you feel better soon. I started feeling better two weeks after treatment began and the change after 6 weeks was amazing. It felt so good to feel like me again.

RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:50 PM
You're doing the right thing. You sound very overwhelmed. I hope it gets better. ((Hugs))
hma1216
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:52 PM
You are doing the right thing by taking to your doctor. Hang in there. You are not a horrible mom!!!
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