I never knew how easy it was for a Mother to walk away from her children, until today **Update**
About 4 yrs ago, my brother and his families lives were turned upside down. Long story short, his wife drug him through court for everything under the sun which caused him to have visitation only. She came back, apologized and got pregnant. When the youngest was born, she was moved out with the kids again and went MIA for nearly 3 yrs. In the end, my brother got custody of all of the kids and allowed her back.
She and the kids have been back since November of last year. The oldest 2 are in school and the youngest stayed home with her. She never once looked for a job, rarely lifted a finger around the house or cooked. He layed down the rules when she came back, so naturally he would get upset, he owns his own business and tends to all of the kids needs. Even went as far as getting her.to the doctor for her reasons.
So in passing conversation today my brother mentioned that she got their eldest all upset last night, which she loves to do, all because she said that she was leaving again without the kids. He had been on and off the phone all day with her about it, she was set on it but had no plans or money, yet she managed to find a ride from a man she didn't know. I wad getting my nephews from school and my brother called freakes out telling me to go to his house and get their youngest because he had people in his house he didn't know and that she was leaving. I dropped the boys off and raced to the house. She sas waiting outside with their youngest and an older guy, obviously waiting on me. I was so pissed, I had so many thoughts racing through my mind. She walked up to my truck and tried giving me their youngest, all the while the poor thing is grabbing onto her screaming hysterically. She kept thanking me and thanking me, then says "I'm trying to do make this less traumatic". Really?!?! I put the youngest in my kids carseat and she walked away saying "Mommy loves you, go see Daddy".
The middle one doesn't care, the eldest is so torn up. Got back from school and was hysterical all over again, asking why she did it, will she come back, why didn't she stay to say goodbye. They called her, but I don't know if they got to talk to her.
She had all this planned out, just like always. The reason my brother had warning was she had the youngest home with her aside from mentioning briefly last night about it.
We can and can't believe she left again.. but to leave and not say goodbye or give enough reason beyond "I need a break".. how can a parent do that? She says she's going for only a few weeks, but she's going clear across the damn country! No job, no money... I hate her, I don't hate people, but I hate her.
OK, let me clarify. The "mother" does not have custody, she lost those last year. My brother only intended her to stay for a few months until she found a job and could get a place of her own. The first time she left and returned, he thought things were finally looking up and turning around for the good, that she changed and they would be a family again. He said today that she's gone for good. If she decides to come back to the state, she will have to find somewhere else to live and finish their legal crap that they never finished as well as having visitation that he approves.
My brother has been getting some phone calls and text messages from her since she left. The day she left she texted him late at night at told him where she was, she was having second thoughts and could he wire her some money. I basically ignored her, she wants to do it on her own then let her. She ended up making it in the end. Got all the way there and her bio-father is in Hospice care and his wife pretty much told her to stay away and she's staying with someone she knew from when she lived up there. She's basically in a nut shell saying this is only a few weeks - she needed in a vacation of sorts - that now she's doing everything for her babies - that she in mentally ill but refuses to anything more for herself than to pop pills that she is perscribed (and some not) - that she's only a 2 hour plane ride away. Seriously!?! Then she goes on to say that she couldn't believe how I just ripped their daughter from her arms with no care or anything. Really!?! She walked right up to me and was trying to just dump her in my arms, meanwhile the poor thing is desperatly clutching to her. What?! Was I suppose to stand there waiting for her to calm down to then get her worked up all over again when I try and get her into my vehicle? Then she goes on to say how it's so convenient now that our family is taking more effort with the littlest one. Well hmm, lets see. As much as she said that she needed her to get in daycare, she wouldn't let anyone but my brother take her anywhere. Not to mention she refused to keep the house descent, so no, I once took my DD over to their house but refused to bring her over there again. But I did offer for the girls to get together at my house, the park, where ever. But no. Our entire family has done everything that we can for my brother and the kids and let her back into our lives as much as we destested the idea of it. But for my brother and his kids, we did. But now she has burned every possible bridge, all she has left is the trash friends that she had made where she is currently. And no, I'm not just saying that. We've seen videos, photos and have heard what the kids have said about the places they've lived and the company that she kept when she MIA with them.
The kids are for the most part doing well. The house is clean, they are a lot calmer (she had them so worked up nearly 24/7 for her enjoyment), they take showers/baths without being told to, they're helping my brother around the house. The list just goes on with all the positives in these few short days. The littlest one still asks about her and says that she left - she even asked my Mom today if she or I were going to leave too. The middle one still seems the same, doesn't care. I picked the eldest up from school the other day, I didn't press the issue and he never brought it up.
So now my brother has to get his ducks in a row to get the littlest one in daycare. He also needs to have the eldest retested for school because she had him listed with several mental health issues while they were gone so the school records reflected all of that so he was placed in special courses when he was put in school here. Which my brother removed him from all the medications she had him on and he has been your typical every day kid, no break downs, freak outs or anything!!!
So who knows what's going to happen now. She needs help but refuses to get it - but she isn't welcome back here. She's been in shelter's before - she's lived in hotel rooms before - she can do it all again. She made all these decisions over the years and the outcome hurt everyone - she can keep making her own decisions on the road that she has laid out before herself - by herself.