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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband is drinking again.,,,

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

He has been sober for 6 months. He came home and he was so drunk I am not even sure how he drove home. I told him I was leaving and I began to pack my stuff but he started crying saying he loved me and he needed help and he wanted to go back to rehab. We have been married 18 years we have two kids 14 and 16...... he has been in and out of rehabs for the last 13 years. He is a major alcoholic. I have stood by him while he got so drunk he peed in corners in our room......hit holes in the wall. I am a OB/GYN and he even came to my practice and accused me of having an affair with one of my 80 year old partners, while drunk. I love him, I really do and I want to be there for him but a part of me just wants to leave him. I want to make sure he gets help first. i wouldnt leave him like this. I just dont think he will stay sober. He has been in rehab 5 times. Would this make me a a incredibly horrible person. I just think I am done. Maybe I am not strong I guess.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
UnluckyCharms
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:51 AM

You're an OB/GYN?

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:52 AM

I would have been gone after the third time in rehab. IF you can't handle anymore then its time to go. IMO.........YOU have gone above and beyond for him.

sjenkins8208
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:54 AM
No it wouldn't make you horrible! You've stuck by him and it isn't working. Yes you love him, but your kids don't deserve to have a home life where their father acts the way he does. You can't fix him :(
cdb7519
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:54 AM

Mine (boyfriend not husband) just started drinking again after 7 months sobriety.  It is so frustrating.  He now wants to get a place of his own and us still be together.  Not going to happen.  I am pretty sure he just wants to be able to drink without me knowing.  He has been gone since Friday and I feel so frustrated and alone.  When he was sober and not thinking about drinking he was wonderful, but boy he was something else when he wasn't.  It can be scary when they start getting violent and hostile.  I tried so hard to keep him away from the bad influences that he is drawn to, but in the end it is his decison.  Even though I keep crying my eyes out because I miss him so bad, I know I can never have a relationship with him again. Stay strong sister. 

gkcathey
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:54 AM

This is his disease, let him deal with it.  You may very well be co-dependent, so you should deal with that.  This is NOT a disease like cancer....he CAN fix it - others have.  Do what is best for you and for your 2 children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:56 AM

separate until he can get his shit together...let him know he has X amount of time to do so before you start filing for divorce

TisHerself
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:57 AM

This. Have you considered counseling to address codependency? Good luck, OP.

Quoting gkcathey:

This is his disease, let him deal with it.  You may very well be co-dependent, so you should deal with that.  This is NOT a disease like cancer....he CAN fix it - others have.  Do what is best for you and for your 2 children.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:58 AM

Whether you stay or go he'll always be an alcoholic at that rate. Does he have liver failure yet? Stay and be his Nurse or leave and make yourself happy. I recently witnessed this situation with my siblings spouse and she said if she knew how bad and sick he was going to get, she would have left earlier.  What is the point of ruining all your lives. He can't be helped, it's probably too late anyway and he'd never get a liver transplant anyway. I sounds bad to say but why prolong the inevitable? My heart goes out to you, Sorry :(


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:58 AM

A partner at your clinic that is 80 years old?  Yeah, right!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:58 AM

I'm an alcoholic too.

It's very hard to stay sober, rehab or not.   There are times when it's so unbearable to live with my brain that I drink so I have a semblance of peace and quiet in my head.

People think "Just stop drinking".  It's just NOT that easy.

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