You have 3 choices of what to do, all of which your SO will support.
1. Pack up your stuff and move into a shelter or your vehicle and give your dog away.
2. Take a minimum wage job ($7.25/hour) 40 hours a week and hope the mortgage company will work with you even though you will be short this month and can't make last month's payment.
3. Become a stripper. It's a topless only club and you must wear pasties on your nipples. You are guaranteed no less then $350 per night and may work as often as you want.
*in this scenario you are hot and sexy*