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Need relationship advice..

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:55 AM
  • 29 Replies
Very long, sorry in advance. I'm aware that things are bad but I still have that glimmer of hope in my heart that things can get better , because I love my DF and our two kids,,, here goes

My relationship is severely unhealthy, I'm miserable and I don't know what to do. Whenever I try to communicate what I want/ need in our relationship, I am turned away and told my desires are ridiculous and I have set the bar too high. When I have in issue, like feeling like I am pulling most of he weight in chores, I am told I am exaggerating and I end up offending him somehow. I feel he spends more time on the computer than with us. It's like he isn't even here when he is home. He never ever admits fault to anything. I am often told I am delusional. He always plays the victim. I am told I rude or demanding when asking a favor.I wish I could somehow record what occurs here day to day and how I am treated. I wish he could hear how he talks to me. I try to suck it up, I try to return all of this kindly to not cause any more tension, however sometimes I get so frustrated that I end up acting rude. How could I not? I put up with so much. I think after almost 4 years if anything was going to change it already would have. Is there any chance things can get better?
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Amybelle
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:59 AM

doubtful

ApacheRose72
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:00 AM
To top it all off, he is a deadbeat who can't keep a job and smokes pot almost everyday , Even when I am at work and he is watching the kids. I know I need to leave but I'm broken up thinking about leaving.. I can't imagine another woman touching my kids, or him talking badly about me to my kids..etc

firebird78
by JKL's mom on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:01 AM

i seriously doubt it

firebird78
by JKL's mom on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:03 AM


Quoting ApacheRose72: To top it all off, he is a deadbeat who can't keep a job and smokes pot almost everyday , Even when I am at work and he is watching the kids. I know I need to leave but I'm broken up thinking about leaving.. I can't imagine another woman touching my kids, or him talking badly about me to my kids..etc

well think of something

leaving things the way they are isn't going to help

do something while the ball is in your court-so to speak

alexsmomma06
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:03 AM

Unless he can admit he is part of the problem, it will never change.

JackieGirl007
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:05 AM

 You would be so much happier without him mama. DO record him being an asshole. Play that whenever you start missing him, lol.

ApacheRose72
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:07 AM
It's just really hard for me because I don't want to put my kids through this :( is it better just to stay for the kids?
mstasha210
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:07 AM

 Nothing's going to change and from what I've seen, once you get married, it only gets worse.  It's not a healthy environment for you or your kids so you should really consider leaving.

x.Aim.x
by Amy on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:08 AM

From what you explained, he probably won't change. If you want to try to make it work suggest marriage counseling.

Know that most people don't change. It takes a lot of work for people to change and if they don't want to then they're not going to. So if he doesn't want to do marriage counseling you can decide to continue your life with him the way it is, or move on and find something that will make you happy. How old are your children? Good luck.

ApacheRose72
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:09 AM
My kids are 3 and 3 months ...
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