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Could I have ptsd?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Long story sorta...
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.The story includes suicides, child abuse, etc. I'm not sure if it needs a trigger warning.
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My mother died when I was barely a toddler from a inflicted gunshot wound to the head which led to being in care by my father. He would lock me in a room with no food and no bathroom just so he could do whatever. He also beat the ever loving shit outta me for a while until in 2nd grade, I quietly told the principal she had to take me home with her because my dad was gonna be really angry and get his belt after me. That led to me and my brother;( who he adored, because he was a guy. He would always cuss me out because I simply reminded him of my mother), to a foster home where we stayed until my great uncle got custody and raised us. After that, my horrible childhood, was semi normal until the state took us away from him because he was too old (65) and my mother's sister got us and she was never home so my other aunt took me where I was finally able to stabilize a home at the age of 10. The state stripped his rights away and he actually died 4 months after my 10th birthday. When I turned 16 and was getting a job, I had to file for a ss card. It got rejected bc my parents named didn't match. Come to find out, when she was 8 months pregnant with me my dad was a drug dealer, got info on selling to an undercover and forced my mom to do the sell. She was taken to a women's facility and booked under her stripper stage name. That crushed my soul alot. My aunt had to explain because I had to file for a birth certificate and take it to the ss office.
I also found out that day, that I was born addicted to cocaine and held in whatever nicu for 2 weeks until my WD went away and my grandmother came and got me.


My question is everyday I think about it. Something triggers my brain and I feel so outraged by it.

Nobody in my family ever took me to see a therapist. I guess I was uneducated on the fact that ptsd was not just for someone serving in the military.
If you do have it, how do you cope? Medication? I feel like I'm living in the past every day.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:21 AM
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