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BANNED from seeing my mom and now she's dead.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 126 Replies
1 mom liked this
I just received word that my mother passed away late last night (I'm in eastern time). I am devastated, and my spirit is CRUSHED because I NEVER got to say goodbye to the only person that has loved my unconditionally my ENTIRE life. You know why? It's because I'm gay.

I'm a lesbian, and have been dubbed "super gay" by my friends as a joke because my family is extremely religious, and very conservative and old fashioned. My mother had no problem with my being gay. As a matter of fact, she walked me down the isle when I got married, and held my hand when my wife and I had our first child (which was my mom's first grandchild). My mother has ALWAYS been more liberal compared to other family members. She believed in God, but she didn't attend church. Thankfully, I wasn't raised in a narrow minded home where I was taught to hate. Instead, I was taught to love everyone, and not to judge. So, can you imagine how I felt when I was BANNED from visiting my mother while she was in the hospital?

My mom remarried a few years ago to this SOB that I have never liked. He claims to be very religious, and he loves talking about how he hated f***s, and how he wishes that they could be exiled from society....blah blah blah. To this day, I have no clue why my mom married him. I think she settled because she was tired of being alone, and since I am grown, I guess she figured that she had nothing to lose. He has made my life a living hell ever since they married. I was banned from their home, and so were my children and my wife. My mom used to have to sneak to visit me and see her grandchildren, and we would have to go to lunch if I wanted to talk to her because she couldn't even mention my name in his house.

This man made it impossible for me to visit my mother before she passed away. I was forbidden from visiting her, or from checking in on her. I had no information about my mother's condition. All I knew was that she had end stage breast cancer that had spread, and her organs were failing. The reason he gave the doctor was that my being gay was making my mother's condition worse because my sexuality stressed her out. My "sins" are far to obvious and grave, and since they were praying for healing, they couldn't have any negative spirits around.

I'm just pissed and upset. My mother and I were so close. When she got married I forgave her because she had raised me by herself, and had never dated anyone. But that man she married made it almost impossible for us to have the relationship we once had. No, she's dead. At Christmas, she had talked about leaving him because she missed our relationship. Now she will never get the chance.

I just wanted to say goodbye to her. I knew that her end was near after her condition got worse. I even bought her two dozen of her favorite red roses, and I was going to have them delivered to her. Now I have to cancel the order. I just don't know what to do. She will never hug me again, I'll never hear her voice again, and my kids won't have their nana anymore. I'm so hurt. I can't stop crying. I just wanted a chance to say goodbye, give her a kiss, tell her I love her, give her a hug. Now I can't. I miss my mommy.

If your kids are gay, don't treat them like shit, and don't allow a stepparent or anyone else to treat them like shit either.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:25 AM
I'm all over the place. Sorry. My emotions are all over the place. I had to get this out.
Dulcemama5
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:27 AM
So sorry for your loss
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:27 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs to you.   She settled for the wrong guy and now that she has passed she can be with you either watching from heaven or being an angel watching over your shoulder.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:28 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Can't stand people like her husband. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and didn't get to say goodbye.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:28 AM
Thanks

Quoting Anonymous:

Hugs to you.   She settled for the wrong guy and now that she has passed she can be with you either watching from heaven or being an angel watching over your shoulder.  

catholicmamamia
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:29 AM

I am so sorry for your loss.. ((hugs))


                
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:31 AM
I'm so sorry.

I don't know if you can use this information now, but I sure hope so: in most states you are considered the next of kin over her spouse
, if your mom and this man never had kids. Had you known earlier you could have kept HIM from seeing her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks

Quoting catholicmamamia:

I am so sorry for your loss.. ((hugs))

turtlesquish23
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:32 AM
I'm so sorry
neveragain17
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:33 AM
So sorry for your loss. I don't understand why people can be so cruel!
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