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Is it that hard to help pick up the house?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
So let me first explain some things. My SO and I are 28 years apart(I am 23, he is 51). He has a daughter that is 19, and I'm pregnant with his second. Due to life choices he made, he rarely gets to see her. That being said, we brought her down last friday to stay with us for a week.

She has some mental issues that make her more 13 or 14 rather than 19. She tends to blurt things out, and doesn't seem to respect others 100%. While she has kept the room she sleeps in tidy, she leaves a mess everywhere else, and her dad doesn't seem to care. They made dinner last night, and rule is clean as you cook. I get home to a sink full of dishes, and she goes "well if im not lazy I might spray them off and start the dish washer". So I let it go, and had to go back to work for 2 hours. They had plenty of time to clean, and the kitchen was still a disaster when I got home, and I ended up cleaning the house for a third time this week. I normally do a deep cleaning on thursdays anyway, but I usually play music and make it enjoyable. Instead of asking if we could switch music, she turns hers on over mine, which annoyed me to no end, but I don't say anything and just turn mine off (though I cant stand country)

I dont know how to approach this subject. Shes not my step daughter as im not married too him, just his girl friend and carrying her new sibling. Because we are so close in actual age but not mental age I get frustrated. She just sits around all day watching tv, drinking all of our soda and eating whatever without seeing if its someone elses first, but not really helping us out.

I just needed to vent. My SO is sad he has to take her back, and a small part of me is too, but my wallet and house wont be.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:17 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:19 PM
Yeah...

She'd have to roll...
KME3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:23 PM
2 moms liked this
He wouldn't be sad is he were the one cleaning up after her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:24 PM


Quoting KME3: He wouldn't be sad is he were the one cleaning up after her.


CuriousArentYa
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

She is going to push as far as you let her. I would call them out and make them clean up the messes. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:27 PM
He works 8 to 5 and has spent lttle time with her while shes been here, its been me spending time with her. He wants her to stay with us for the summer, and let her get a part time job. I dont know if I could handle that, I would be the last months of my pregnancy and couldn't get everything done im doing now.

He wasnt around during 75% of her childhood, so he really doesn't know how to be a parent.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:34 PM
They are making cookies today, and I told him they are cleaning up the kitchen and dining room (our kitchen is too small to really do much in it), and im going to take a much needed nap lol.

Quoting CuriousArentYa:

She is going to push as far as you let her. I would call them out and make them clean up the messes. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Well the week will be up soon! After she leaves sit down with dad and discuss all your concerns about having her for the summer and be open and honest. I personally would suggest we wait till fall because the new baby would be coming and I'd need to focus on that and allow the time for me and baby to get adjusted. But, any time after that would be ok.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:43 PM
I like that idea. We have sort of talked about it, but the only time we get together is right before bed, and both of us are usually very tired.

I wouldnt mind if she stayed with us again, but with rules and a chore list the next time! This not picking up or helping me around the house isn't cool. But she goes home soon, so, woo!

Quoting Anonymous: Well the week will be up soon! After she leaves sit down with dad and discuss all your concerns about having her for the summer and be open and honest. I personally would suggest we wait till fall because the new baby would be coming and I'd need to focus on that and allow the time for me and baby to get adjusted. But, any time after that would be ok.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:48 PM
Well take the week to see how it goes :)

Have fun.

Quoting Anonymous: I like that idea. We have sort of talked about it, but the only time we get together is right before bed, and both of us are usually very tired.

I wouldnt mind if she stayed with us again, but with rules and a chore list the next time! This not picking up or helping me around the house isn't cool. But she goes home soon, so, woo!

Quoting Anonymous: Well the week will be up soon! After she leaves sit down with dad and discuss all your concerns about having her for the summer and be open and honest. I personally would suggest we wait till fall because the new baby would be coming and I'd need to focus on that and allow the time for me and baby to get adjusted. But, any time after that would be ok.
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