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Scared my husband is going to find out Im Asian

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 187 Replies

I know this is going to sound crazy and fake, but oh well.

To make a long story short, I had a lot of self esteem problems when I was a teenager. I was the only Asian kid at my entire school and was picked on a lot. My parents were fairly well off, so after a lot of begging, I convinced them to let me get surgery to give me the double eyelid thing for my 18th birthday. Over the next few years, I got a few more surgeries to reduce my Asian-like appearance. I wasn't ashamed of my heritage, I was just embarassed of my looks after years of bullying. 

When I was 23, I finally felt confident in my looks. I know that sounds really vain, but that's how I was back then. I felt I could successfully pass as caucasian, my skin had always been pale, and it just looked like I had a slight tan year round.

Fast forward a few years, and I met my husband. He was everything I could imagine, charming, smart, funny, good looking, the whole deal. We got married a year and a half after we first met. We bought a house and started getting more comfortable around each other, like all newlyweds do.

It wasn't until this past Christmas that things started to get awkward. I was finally meeting DH's whole family, not just his parents and siblings. His grandfather fought and was injured in World War 2, and has an extreme prejudice anyone that looks remotely asian. I learned that he had passed that same prejudice to his son, who then passed it down to my DH.

I was a little worried, but not so much because we were already married. Just after Valentine's Day, I found out I was expecting our first baby. It didn't hit me until our first sonogram that the baby might end up looking like me, how I used to be. My husband doesn't know about how I used to look, and I know I should have told him, it just never came up. He has never met any of my family, my parents passed away in a house fire a few months before I met him. My parents were both only children, and all of my grandparents had passed as well. All of the old pictures of me also burned up in the fire. (since it seems plenty of people have trouble reading and comprehending. I'd rather not repeat myself over and over even though it's right here in the post)

I DO plan on telling him before the baby comes, I really do, I'm just scared. I spent a good portion of my life trying to get away from that and now it's crashing down around me. Him and his dad and grandfather were pretty offensive over Christmas, although they thought they were just being funny.

I just don't know what to do, and I don't know how he will react finding out I have been keeping this from him.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Aslen
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:38 PM
Wow.....

CowgirlSoldier
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:38 PM

Better tell him sooner than later to give him time to let things sink in. You hid your heritage and who you are and where you came from. That may be a tough pill for him to swallow. How has he never met your falmily or seen any old pictures of you?

i wish you the best and hope he can understand why you did what you did. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:39 PM
You are going to have to tell him and be prepared to be walked out on. I wouldn't be leaving him alone with that baby if he is that racist.
twinmommy27
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:40 PM
Are you sure you didn't sleep with an Asian man and are trying to pass the child off this way?
Did you change your last name?

Not trying to be an ass, just thinking what he would.
JohnnysGirl1967
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:41 PM
2 moms liked this

If he doesn't leave you, you will be one lucky American looking Asian.

KME3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:42 PM
20 moms liked this
Pic of you or gtfo.
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:42 PM
Bumping this.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:43 PM

yes, I'm sure, although it's crossed my mind that that's what he will think.

My dad changed his last name when he moved to america, he had one of those last names that was crazy to spell/pronounce

Quoting twinmommy27: Are you sure you didn't sleep with an Asian man and are trying to pass the child off this way? Did you change your last name? Not trying to be an ass, just thinking what he would.


JDmommyJD
by the sauce is boss on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:43 PM
9 moms liked this
Hmm.. Reminds me of a story, where the asian womans husband sued her, for giving him ugly kids.. Because he only knew the "surgically improved her"..
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:43 PM
Wowzers.
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