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What do you all think about this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
My husbands parents while they were moving all over the United States working and whatever, his moms mom picked up and moved with them every single time so that she could help raise their child. My husband.

He's an only child btw.

Anyway so his grandma basically raised him so his parents could both work. They also both had decent jobs. Not minimum wage needed help type jobs.

So my husband doesn't understand why it's so hard for me to work with zero family around. We don't hardly know anyone and yes the cost if day care is too expensive for us. But we are comfortable on his salary.

I kinda feel like his parents don't realize how good they had it with the help they had. Do you think it's unfair that his parents wouldn't help out our family the same way his grandma did? Both his parents are retired so there is no strings tiring them down.

I think it's kinda sad. Since the day he turned 18 they cut him off completely. Which is fine. But I think they've forgotten what they had. I see myself being the kind of parent willing to do most anything if I can for my children to help them successed in life. I could see myself moving to help my children if they wanted me to or needed me to.

I just kinda feel like my husbands parents never wanted to parent and want him to fail in life.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:27 PM
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Replies (1-8):
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:29 PM


Quoting Anonymous: My husbands parents while they were moving all over the United States working and whatever, his moms mom picked up and moved with them every single time so that she could help raise their child. My husband. He's an only child btw. Anyway so his grandma basically raised him so his parents could both work. They also both had decent jobs. Not minimum wage needed help type jobs. So my husband doesn't understand why it's so hard for me to work with zero family around. We don't hardly know anyone and yes the cost if day care is too expensive for us. But we are comfortable on his salary. I kinda feel like his parents don't realize how good they had it with the help they had. Do you think it's unfair that his parents wouldn't help out our family the same way his grandma did? Both his parents are retired so there is no strings tiring them down. I think it's kinda sad. Since the day he turned 18 they cut him off completely. Which is fine. But I think they've forgotten what they had. I see myself being the kind of parent willing to do most anything if I can for my children to help them successed in life. I could see myself moving to help my children if they wanted me to or needed me to. I just kinda feel like my husbands parents never wanted to parent and want him to fail in life.

no, I don't think it is unfair at all. They have raised their children and can spend their retirement as they see fit.

I am INCREDIBLY grateful for the help my parents have given us, but it was NEVER an expectation

 

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:30 PM
It's not his parents job to care for your children.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:31 PM
Not much, attention span...too short.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:34 PM

It makes a lot of sense why they wouldn't want to help with your kids. They never even raised the kids that they actually created, why would they suddenly want to parent/grandparent now? They were lucky to have such a great support team but you're going to come out as the better parent in the long run. You don't need what they had.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:36 PM
I don't expect them to. But god it would make our lives a million times better. I could get my nursing degree finished, we all know what kind of crazy hours those are, I could work and not worry about my children a huge stress relieved. We could save better for the future and retirement. Etc. I kinda see it as a pay it forward situation. But the memo got lost. Oh well.


Quoting peanutsmommy1:

Quoting Anonymous: My husbands parents while they were moving all over the United States working and whatever, his moms mom picked up and moved with them every single time so that she could help raise their child. My husband.

He's an only child btw.

Anyway so his grandma basically raised him so his parents could both work. They also both had decent jobs. Not minimum wage needed help type jobs.

So my husband doesn't understand why it's so hard for me to work with zero family around. We don't hardly know anyone and yes the cost if day care is too expensive for us. But we are comfortable on his salary.

I kinda feel like his parents don't realize how good they had it with the help they had. Do you think it's unfair that his parents wouldn't help out our family the same way his grandma did? Both his parents are retired so there is no strings tiring them down.

I think it's kinda sad. Since the day he turned 18 they cut him off completely. Which is fine. But I think they've forgotten what they had. I see myself being the kind of parent willing to do most anything if I can for my children to help them successed in life. I could see myself moving to help my children if they wanted me to or needed me to.

I just kinda feel like my husbands parents never wanted to parent and want him to fail in life.

no, I don't think it is unfair at all. They have raised their children and can spend their retirement as they see fit.

I am INCREDIBLY grateful for the help my parents have given us, but it was NEVER an expectation

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:40 PM
Thanks. :) that's what I keep trying to tell myself. I try to focus on that. But even when I think about getting a part time job. One of my kids gets sick for 4 days and in reminded why I can't work. Who on their right mind would babysit a sick child?! Or watch my kids on crazy hours? My dh is military he's pretty unreliable as far as work hours go.

The funny thing is. They didn't even create this child. They had to adopt!! Like nature was trying to tell them something and they didn't listen. Not saying all couples who can't get pregnant are that way. But I do get the vibe that they did absolute minimum raising him. Heck they could care less if they see my kids so I guess I should be looking at the red light and saying thank god. Maybe they wouldn't be in such great hands. :-/

Quoting Anonymous:

It makes a lot of sense why they wouldn't want to help with your kids. They never even raised the kids that they actually created, why would they suddenly want to parent/grandparent now? They were lucky to have such a great support team but you're going to come out as the better parent in the long run. You don't need what they had.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:46 PM

I definitely see where you're coming from, I get about one break a year. My family is gone and my in-laws have proven to be pretty uncaring. It makes sense though, they used to work and bar hop while leaving my dh and BIL home alone. They were like 4 and 6, raising themselves!! They walked to and from school alone, ran the neighborhood, swam in the lake alone, fed themselves....the whole 9 yards. I used to be pissed that my in-laws don't help when I really need them but now I get it. My kids are probably better off lol.

Quoting Anonymous: Thanks. :) that's what I keep trying to tell myself. I try to focus on that. But even when I think about getting a part time job. One of my kids gets sick for 4 days and in reminded why I can't work. Who on their right mind would babysit a sick child?! Or watch my kids on crazy hours? My dh is military he's pretty unreliable as far as work hours go. The funny thing is. They didn't even create this child. They had to adopt!! Like nature was trying to tell them something and they didn't listen. Not saying all couples who can't get pregnant are that way. But I do get the vibe that they did absolute minimum raising him. Heck they could care less if they see my kids so I guess I should be looking at the red light and saying thank god. Maybe they wouldn't be in such great hands. :-/
Quoting Anonymous:

It makes a lot of sense why they wouldn't want to help with your kids. They never even raised the kids that they actually created, why would they suddenly want to parent/grandparent now? They were lucky to have such a great support team but you're going to come out as the better parent in the long run. You don't need what they had.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 1:56 PM
Yikes!! Poor babies! No kid should have to raise themselves like that!! :( does sound like your kids would be better off with out their help!

Quoting Anonymous:

I definitely see where you're coming from, I get about one break a year. My family is gone and my in-laws have proven to be pretty uncaring. It makes sense though, they used to work and bar hop while leaving my dh and BIL home alone. They were like 4 and 6, raising themselves!! They walked to and from school alone, ran the neighborhood, swam in the lake alone, fed themselves....the whole 9 yards. I used to be pissed that my in-laws don't help when I really need them but now I get it. My kids are probably better off lol.

Quoting Anonymous: Thanks. :) that's what I keep trying to tell myself. I try to focus on that. But even when I think about getting a part time job. One of my kids gets sick for 4 days and in reminded why I can't work. Who on their right mind would babysit a sick child?! Or watch my kids on crazy hours? My dh is military he's pretty unreliable as far as work hours go.

The funny thing is. They didn't even create this child. They had to adopt!! Like nature was trying to tell them something and they didn't listen. Not saying all couples who can't get pregnant are that way. But I do get the vibe that they did absolute minimum raising him. Heck they could care less if they see my kids so I guess I should be looking at the red light and saying thank god. Maybe they wouldn't be in such great hands. :-/

Quoting Anonymous:

It makes a lot of sense why they wouldn't want to help with your kids. They never even raised the kids that they actually created, why would they suddenly want to parent/grandparent now? They were lucky to have such a great support team but you're going to come out as the better parent in the long run. You don't need what they had.

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