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He committed suicide!!! UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
Today I was cleaning my email. I have emails of many years ago still.

I met a handsome, wonderful man when I was 25. I had a previous relationship at 17. It didn't worked. I fall in love like never before. So we decided to live together.
I was doing my masters degree at that time as well as working.
On march 14th I had to go to work because I had an important meeting with my boss. That morning he asked to stay home. I said no.
When I came back. He was dead on our bed. He took an overdose of many pills. According to the examination. It was a heart attack.

Many memories still hunt me. He wrote me an email that morning that I still keep. In which he said. He will always love me an he will be my guardian angel.

Well. I needed to vent. This was 8 years ago. And even if he isn't here. I still miss him.

"P.S.S. Salut, Amor! There's something else I want to tell you. I know you have your memories of passion, desire, pleasure and love. You have your memories of other men and what they gave to you and what you gave to them. You can't do a "tape erase," nor should you. You are entitled to those memories; they are part of your history and part of who you are. You will never forget them. To me, though, they are a poison. The thought that those memories are in your mind and soul hurts me so much at times. They make me feel small and insignificant and unwanted. I know it is not normal, but it's the way I am -- for whatever reason -- and I have to try to live with it. I am afraid of this poison because it can destroy us. It is embarrassing to tell you this, but I want you to know so that you can try understand and try to help. I've never told this to anyone else. In the past, the only antidote to this pain has been to "bluebird," but I would rather die than do that to you. I want you to promise me that you will never use these memories as a weapon against me, even if you are mad at me or we are having a "row" about something. I need to know and believe that our lives are one and that your past is your past and that the present and future are ours and ours alone. I don't know why I am thinking about this now, but I believe it is because I love you so much, more than I have ever allowed myself to love before. It makes me more vulnerable than I have ever been before. It gives you the power to destroy me. I have to trust you not to do that. Please don't let me down, amor. I promise I'll never do that to you. You are too important to me, and our love is a rare and precious treasure we must protect and nurture. Te amo, amor. "

I still don't get it. I give it all.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:32 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:32 PM
Bump

Quoting Anonymous: Today I was cleaning my email. I have emails of many years ago still.

I met a handsome, wonderful man when I was 25. I had a previous relationship at 17. It didn't worked. I fall in love like never before. So we decided to live together.
I was doing my masters degree at that time as well as working.
On march 14th I had to go to work because I had an important meeting with my boss. That morning he asked to stay home. I said no.
When I came back. He was dead on our bed. He took an overdose of many pills. According to the examination. It was a heart attack.

Many memories still hunt me. He wrote me an email that morning that I still keep. In which he said. He will always love me an he will be my guardian angel.

Well. I needed to vent. This was 8 years ago. And even if he isn't here. I still miss him.
AnHpuresugar
by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:33 PM
Sorry for your loss.
curvygurl1912
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:33 PM

im sorry

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:33 PM
Wow that's awful. I'm so sorry.
caito
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:34 PM

I'm sorry :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:35 PM
Thank you ladies.
Cherish77
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:36 PM

I'm sorry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:58 PM
Thank you!
pasteeater_too
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:00 PM

That's so sad.  I'm sorry.

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