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WWYD surogacy

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:45 PM
  • 27 Replies
I was asked to be a surrogate by a friend I've know since middle school. In 2008 she had to have a hysterectomy to remove cancer. She is now in remission but desperately wants a baby.

Now I'm diabetic, I've had 4 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. My last DD was born with extremely low blood sugar and had to stay in the NICU for a week.

I think her and her DH are great people and would make wonderful parents.

I feel for her and in the past I would have quickly said yes but given my health and that I've had more losses than healthy pregnancies I'm not sure I'm comfortable with someone relying on me for their only chance. I feel bad saying no but I'd feel worse if I couldn't give them a healthy baby.

What would you do in my position?
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:46 PM
3 moms liked this
I would decline, your health is most important
TheFairest
by Mother of Dragons on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:47 PM
This.

Quoting peanutsmommy1: I would decline, your health is most important
Sara-1989
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:48 PM
I wouldn't even carry a child for my husband, let alone a friend.
4Dragons
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM

I also would say no. I'm surprised she still wants you to do it with your history.

tennis4lissa
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM

I wouldnt do it given your health, you could have to try a ton of times to get pregnant and go through so much just to have one semi healthy pregnancy.  Nope sorry, surrogacy is hard enough with all healthy people, way too hard with all those things added on

HIJKLM
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM
Thanks, I'm not so much worried about my health but the baby's

Quoting peanutsmommy1: I would decline, your health is most important
J.M.O.
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM
I'd decline. I know you want to help but not at the risk of your own health.
TheMommyTaxi
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM

I would say exactly what you posted.


CABZS
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM
Explain all that to her. I am sure she wouldn't want you to risk your health.
AngryBob
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:52 PM
1 mom liked this

if i were in your position, i would change my font color to something readable ;)

you are very sweet, wanting to help her out like that. but like the other posters said, your health is most important. i wanted to be a surrogate, too, but my last pregnancy was very hard, and sixteen months later, i'm still trying to get my body back to normal. and i didn't have complications like you did.

you can continue to offer her support, be excited for her and hold her hand during the pregnancy of whoever she finds to be a surrogate, but you have your family, and they come first. you would do a disservice to them to put your health at risk like that. i'm sorry you're in that position, though, you must feel terrible and want to help so bad.

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