My disgusting poop fetish confession. TMI (obviously)
Now I'm not doing this to get attention. I honestly need real advice on what I should do. I'm disgusted at myself and have no where to turn to. I know almost 99% of you will be like this is disgusting, get help, seek counseling. But what I am about to tell you, I could never tell a doctor or counselor in real face to face conversation. I'm ashamed. I'm not a troll. I'm actually a very known member on here. I would go with my sn but this is by far the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. Leave now if you don't want to hear.
I'm in my twenties. I'm young and now a single mother. I told my ex this once and he didn't really say anything bad. Just ew are you kidding. I told him no and he said oh. That was the last of it. He would always ask me if I washed my hands though. Hahaha Ew.
OKay so my confession.
I can't poop unless I stick my finger up my butt. That ins't even the worse part! My mother told me I never was able to. The only thing the doctor reccommended was to use a Q-tip when I was a baby and toddler to get me to poop. It had something to do with my
So I'm assuming this has been going on my whole life. The first memory that I can remember is when I was around 5. I have seriously went over 2 months without pooping because of this. My doctor won;t do a colonoskopy(sp?) until I'm over 35. I tried not doing this and this is what happened, two months of terrible pain. Even with doing this I can't go until about every 7-9 days. And it is terrible when I do. It hurts SO SO SO bad that I'll start throwing up. Not my actuall anus but like I can feel it in my anal tubes. I don't know how to describe it.
The worst part is this: When I was little probably about 6 I went to a friends house. I looked in the toilet after going poop and there was a white worm on/in my poop, wigling around! I told my mom but she didn't believe me. So since then, I can't help myself without looking through my poop. I actually stick my finger up there, and pull it out, put it on a tissue or toilet paper and mash through it. I fucking know, disgusting. You don't have to tell me I know. I so want help with this. I can't stop and I don't know why! I am in tears over it, I hate going to the bathroom because I am disgusted with myself.
I don't know why I do it, I just can't stop. I've tried and tried and tried again and I just can't do it. I want to talk to someone about it but I could never do it face to face. I KNOW I don't have worms in me. It has gotten worse and worse over the years and now I will pop the corn and seeds I find in it. I even once tasted a peace of corn. I know! Oh my lord. I pray that someone will help me or one day I will just stop and I never do.
I don't know what to do. Thank you for reading.