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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do you teach your girls that sex does not equal love?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 36 Replies

That by having sex with a boy it does not automatically mean that he will love you?

No matter what I say to my daughter she is under the firm belief that if she has sex with a boy -they will love her. She's maintaining her virginity (apparently, according to her, nobody WANTS to have sex with her - I think it's due to the desperation that comes off of her) But I have NO idea how to get it through to her?

She does have aspergers if that changes anything. She's 16.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MamaTasha08
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Tell her love is a choice, not a feeling.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:27 AM

I don't know if she'd believe/understad that. She thinks it's just a feeling that happens.

Quoting MamaTasha08:

Tell her love is a choice, not a feeling.


MamaTasha08
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:33 AM

Tell her lust is a feeling.  Love is a choice you make to truly care for someone no matter what.

Sorry, I'm not much help.  I don't have any daughters and I have never believed in "falling in love" and it had nothing to do with anything my Mother taught me.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't know if she'd believe/understad that. She thinks it's just a feeling that happens.

Quoting MamaTasha08:

Tell her love is a choice, not a feeling.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:38 AM

Thanks anyway :)

Quoting MamaTasha08:

Tell her lust is a feeling.  Love is a choice you make to truly care for someone no matter what.

Sorry, I'm not much help.  I don't have any daughters and I have never believed in "falling in love" and it had nothing to do with anything my Mother taught me.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't know if she'd believe/understad that. She thinks it's just a feeling that happens.

Quoting MamaTasha08:

Tell her love is a choice, not a feeling.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:39 AM

BUMP!

readyforhim
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:43 AM

I wish my mother tried to talk about this, maybe one day she will understand

remind her this isn't dating and that how she treats herself is how others will treat her.

iamcafemom83
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:45 AM
That is a tough one to explain. I think there are some adults who still don't get that concept:/

Tell her that if she doesn't understand that sex does not equal love, she is not ready to be having it.
Someone who cares for her will not play games or abandon her after.

I am sure it is jist something she may have to learn when the time comes:/ which is hopefully in a couple more years.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:51 AM

I have said that to her - but to my daughter, telling her that she's not ready for something is like a challenge. I want her to GET it -not to have to completely restrict her or "challenge" her. *sigh* and yeah - I know some adults who don't get it.

Quoting iamcafemom83: That is a tough one to explain. I think there are some adults who still don't get that concept:/ Tell her that if she doesn't understand that sex does not equal love, she is not ready to be having it. Someone who cares for her will not play games or abandon her after. I am sure it is jist something she may have to learn when the time comes:/ which is hopefully in a couple more years.


iamcafemom83
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:54 AM
Right. Well it's going to be a tough lesson for her to learn.
Maybe there are some.movies with this theme y'all can watch together.subliminal messaging, ya know? Lol


Quoting Anonymous:

I have said that to her - but to my daughter, telling her that she's not ready for something is like a challenge. I want her to GET it -not to have to completely restrict her or "challenge" her. *sigh* and yeah - I know some adults who don't get it.

Quoting iamcafemom83: That is a tough one to explain. I think there are some adults who still don't get that concept:/

Tell her that if she doesn't understand that sex does not equal love, she is not ready to be having it.
Someone who cares for her will not play games or abandon her after.

I am sure it is jist something she may have to learn when the time comes:/ which is hopefully in a couple more years.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2014 at 5:55 AM
I'm not really sure-I've never equated love with sex-ever. I still don't. I love my husband, and I love having sex with my husband...but, ever since I was a teen, sex is just sex.

I'd tell her that if she can't understand the two emotions, it's going to make it that much harder on herself if she does have sex before she is ready.

I'm sorry I'm not much help. At least I bumped for you :)
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