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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

stop crying!!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
I have a 6 year old step daughter. Since she was 2, every time my husband leaves the room, she starts crying.

She follows him around like a lost puppy. It's been 4 years of this. She will sit out side the bathroom door while he uses the bathroom.

This morning, she woke up the entire house at 530 screaming and crying because my husband wouldn't come sleep in her room.

He has never encouraged this behavior, but he doesn't neglect her either. He spends more quality time with her than any if our other children. She does this to her mother too, and her mother isn't remarried our even in a relationship.

I'm so fed up with the crying, and with her waking everyone up at the butt crack of dawn, crying.

This isn't healthy for any of us. Her parents refuse to believe that there might be something off about her emotional health.

I'm ready to tell my husband that he needs to take Visitation else where, because a just can't deal with the constant crying when no one us doing any thing about it
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:07 AM

Do you do anything with her?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:10 AM
What do you mean? Like spend time with her? of course, but it's getting to the point where it's impossible, because if her father isn't in the room, she will either follow him or start throwing a fit

Quoting thenameshailie:

Do you do anything with her?

Loveavision
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:10 AM
I couldn't handle that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:11 AM

That's extreme to request YOUR husband to take his visitstion with his 6 year old daughter somewhere else. This is something you could calmly discuss with your DH and together with love find a solution. However if your solution is to eliminate exposure to the child then your husband may find another more perment solution. Like taking his daughter and self somewhere else and then have visitation with your children. Careful it's a slippery slope you are about to walk on. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:13 AM
1 mom liked this
It's been 4 YEARS of this!!! He and bm don't even follow the schedule anymore. If bm us going to lose her mind, she will call dh to come get sd and vice versa. It's so ridiculous that no one is doing anything to help this child

Quoting Anonymous:

That's extreme to request YOUR husband to take his visitstion with his 6 year old daughter somewhere else. This is something you could calmly discuss with your DH and together with love find a solution. However if your solution is to eliminate exposure to the child then your husband may find another more perment solution. Like taking his daughter and self somewhere else and then have visitation with your children. Careful it's a slippery slope you are about to walk on. 

MLB30
by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:14 AM

How often does she visit? Could her room be placed in a safe yet isolated area? Could your husband, if the visitation is minimal, perhaps have sleepovers in the living room tent style little girl in the tent dad on the couch. Then gradually have dad sleep further away bit by bit time by time. 

thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:16 AM
1 mom liked this

Well you said that you had known about this for atleast 4 years now and you jumped on board anyway so I would suggest making a real effort to find the reason and the solution to the problem because if he has a brain at all, he should leave you if you force his child out of his home.

Quoting Anonymous: What do you mean? Like spend time with her? of course, but it's getting to the point where it's impossible, because if her father isn't in the room, she will either follow him or start throwing a fit
Quoting thenameshailie:

Do you do anything with her?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:18 AM
She is here about 50% if the time. Sometimes more sometimes less. Bm and dh kinda just wrung it, basedon who has more patience and when.

Dh tried that and it didn't work. Sleeping in the living room with her and now he refuses to sleep anywhere but our bed and she has to be in her bed. His rules.

Quoting MLB30:

How often does she visit? Could her room be placed in a safe yet isolated area? Could your husband, if the visitation is minimal, perhaps have sleepovers in the living room tent style little girl in the tent dad on the couch. Then gradually have dad sleep further away bit by bit time by time. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:18 AM
How does your husband respond to the crying? Does he try to comfort her, etc.? If so, she is getting exactly what she wants from him--her father's attention. Maybe you could pull a page from Dr. Rosemond's book (not someone I normally ascribe to) and tell her that all that crying is because she is tired and she needs to go to bed extra early. Keep sending her to bed extra early as long as she continues the behavior--no tv in the room, no games, no fun, no attention. She'll eventually realize that constant crying is not an effective way to get attention.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:18 AM

So get on a schedule. Try making a schedule that everyone can get on board with. You said this has been going on for four years. Was this an issue when you were dating your DH? I find it hard to believe that this was a shock to you after you wed your DH. You chose to marry DH and that meant to accept his family as well. I am suggesting to work together to find a solution not to just throw up your hands and give up. 

Quoting Anonymous: It's been 4 YEARS of this!!! He and bm don't even follow the schedule anymore. If bm us going to lose her mind, she will call dh to come get sd and vice versa. It's so ridiculous that no one is doing anything to help this child
Quoting Anonymous:

That's extreme to request YOUR husband to take his visitstion with his 6 year old daughter somewhere else. This is something you could calmly discuss with your DH and together with love find a solution. However if your solution is to eliminate exposure to the child then your husband may find another more perment solution. Like taking his daughter and self somewhere else and then have visitation with your children. Careful it's a slippery slope you are about to walk on. 


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