Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Final Update: ETA : My DH is angry because I am going to surrogate for my (poll)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 727 Replies
7 moms liked this

 

Poll

Question: Am I right to end my marriage over this?

Options:

Yes

No


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 1077

View Results

Brother and his boyfriend of 12 years. But he was okay with it when it was his Best friend and his wife. We did it for them 5 years ago. I am not backing down from this. I am doing this I love my brother and his partner and they deserve this child. They are a better couple then most straight couples I know My husband told me tonight that he loves me if I do this but that if I do this he is leaving me. I told him that he will have to leave. We have two kids that are are 15 and 17. They both are siding with me. Yes, they both know the situation and they both have input. Because it does affect them. Am I right to risk ending my marriage over this?

ETA: I wanted to make some stuff clear that i didnt. People keep asking about this stuff. It is my fault I wasnt more clear.

1.) He has known my brother was gay. He has been a "advocate of gay rights for years" This is why it came as such a shock.

2.) this is not about surrogacy, this is about a gay couple raising a child. he thinks they should be together if they want, but they should not raise a child. His words. I think there is more to it and its an excuse. But thats his reasoning.He told me his beliefs two weeks ago I assumed as one would he was okay with it since we talked about me doing this for my brother 4 years ago and he said nothing.

3.) I am just the oven, It is not my egg but it is my brothers sperm so it will be my genetic neice/nephew.



Last and Final Update:

My husband came home and we talked. He did admit he just not happy in the marriage and is looking for a way out. He said he wanted a divorce and that he would not stop teh surrogation and that he just wanted me to see that our marriaage wasnt working. I told him I wouldnt fight him and that we ould divorce. He said he wished my brother and me luck on the pregnancy and that he was moving in with his girlfriend that he has been seeing for 3 months behind my back. So anyway. There you go. Wasnt about the baby. Thanks for everyons support. Also, for those who think my brother and I are going to hell. I dont really care what you think but I agree you are entitled to your opinion, however outdated it is.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
lovemysnugbugs
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Why doesn't he want you to do it?
Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:08 PM
12 moms liked this
Does your brother know that your husband has given you an ultimatum over this?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AutumnLove14
by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this
See ya dude !
MumsTheWord571
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:09 PM
9 moms liked this
Is it because they're gay? If so, that would tick me off!
JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:10 PM
39 moms liked this

I think that you seem too quick to throw your marriage away;  it seems like there wasn't  much of a marriage to begin with. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:10 PM
2 moms liked this
Why exactly doesn't your husband want you to do this?
jkleinman
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:11 PM
I wanna know this too.

Quoting Anonymous: Why exactly doesn't your husband want you to do this?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this

He doesnt think gay men should raise children.

Quoting Anonymous: Why exactly doesn't your husband want you to do this?


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:13 PM
4 moms liked this

No, and I am not going to tell him.

Quoting Nicoleb9: Does your brother know that your husband has given you an ultimatum over this?


Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:13 PM
37 moms liked this
This.

While I think its foolish for him to give her an ultimatum it's also foolish for her to decide to be a surrogate without talking with her husband first.


MY COMMENT CAME BEFORE THE EDITS BUT I STILL THINK IT SHOILD BE A JOINT DECISON.


Quoting JulyBabies:

I think that you seem too quick to throw your marriage away;  it seems like there wasn't  much of a marriage to begin with. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)