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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

horders bewear spring is here! spring cleaning (ugh!)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies
My mother is a hoarder in the worst way. Omg! Picture dust all over everything including the carpet inches thick. Picture boxes stacked on boxes of old mail, grandkids school papers, broken pens and pencils, torn books, magazines and lots of other stuff stacked everywhere in the living room, bedrooms and garage. Mold growing on the windows and under sinks, along tub surrounds ect. Litterally dvd's stacked everywhere. She has over 1500 dvd's. Well she expressed interest in wanting to spring clean her house. Dh had sometime off work and decided to help her.

Omg! I didn't realize how difficult that would be. She had a hard time letting go of stuff. I don't know who was worse her or my dad. Dad had a recliner upstairs that was broke and the leather was torn. He threw a tantrum when we asked if we could toss it. He said, "get rid of the couch but not my recliner. My dad has 5 18 gallon tubs full of books. They all wouldn't fit on his book shelf. He didn't care. Told me to find room for them because he wasn't getring rid of a single one. I tried to show him that he could download a lot of the books on his tablet but he said if I threw a single one out I wasn't going. To like him. So they stayed and continue to clutter his house. My mother wanted to keep everything. An ash tray even though she doesn't smoke because of who it used to belong to, aa mini vase not even big enough to hold a single flower for the same reason.

Just when I thought I had an area organized and cleared out she'd come fill it up with junk. I had her sewing maching table cleared off and her sewing machine set uo and ahe comes and puts old camera bags on it, art supplies, extra tote bags ect.

Ugh! You can't convience her she's a hoarder. She will blame everyone else or make a thousand and one excuses how it's not her fault. Once a hoarder always a hoarder!
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:11 AM
Bump!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:12 AM
Hoarding is a mental illness. Let the professionals help your parents before you make it worse.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:13 AM

I am a horder in recovery.  I know that i am one and if left unchecked my house would look like it does on that tv show.  Growing up my grandmother had a lot of clutter she just kept it ouf of the main view of the house. the basement , her room , closets etc..... When i had children I knew thats not how i wanted my kids to grow up so every couple of months and a huge one in the spring i clear everything out.  If i havnt picked something up and used it since the last clean up it gets tossed.  Dh can be an enabler with his oh but we can find a use for this speech.    I try not to really think about what i'm tossing I just do.  Even after 17 years i still find it hard on those days.  Next week i begin my major hauling and i feel anxiety about it.  But  my anxiety about my kids living with my issues  is worse than the anxiety of tossing stuff.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:14 AM

Well, hoarders don't really change.  Even the ones that get professional help still go back to hoarding even a little bit.  It's more of a psychological issue than just being messy.  I think the bottom line is that they really have to WANT to change.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:14 AM
It's a mental illness. Even you you get rid of everything and clean the house, it's not going to last. I'm sorry.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:17 AM
I was a hoarder and I haven't hoarded in almost 10 years.
So your statement is untrue.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well, hoarders don't really change.  Even the ones that get professional help still go back to hoarding even a little bit.  It's more of a psychological issue than just being messy.  I think the bottom line is that they really have to WANT to change.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:22 AM
Her's the thing I don't get. She has no problem giving away her stuff. She'll say, "I have tons of those. Take a couple." Or she'll say, "I bought these and they don't fit or I don't like them. Here you want? Her idea is she can buy another one. Like she had. Two sets of good blinds only thing was they were a oittle dusty. Instead of cleaning them off she say's "I'll just buy new onea their not that expensive. " ugh!
drowningmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:24 AM

My mom was a hoarder.  My brother is a hoarder.  Yeah, I grew up in that lifestyle - Im a minamalist.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:28 AM

Hoarding is like any other addiction, the person needs to admit they have a problem and want to change before anything can be done for them. My MIL is a hoarder (including animals) and it drives my husband crazy, especially because of the animals. He has tried many times to help her but she doesn't want help and thinks she's just fine. It took years for my husband to just walk away and leave her to her own devices, but he did tell her he would contact animal control if she didn't control the animal hoarding. After he told her that she told him "I should have left you in a toilet to die when you were born." We haven't seen or heard from her since.

Jozemom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:32 AM

Good for you :) I know hoarding, like any addiction, is not easy to let go of. Many hoarders don't want to change and see their loved ones as enemies rather than helpers. I commend you for recognizing your problem and putting your family ahead of your addiction

you rock

Quoting Anonymous:

I am a horder in recovery.  I know that i am one and if left unchecked my house would look like it does on that tv show.  Growing up my grandmother had a lot of clutter she just kept it ouf of the main view of the house. the basement , her room , closets etc..... When i had children I knew thats not how i wanted my kids to grow up so every couple of months and a huge one in the spring i clear everything out.  If i havnt picked something up and used it since the last clean up it gets tossed.  Dh can be an enabler with his oh but we can find a use for this speech.    I try not to really think about what i'm tossing I just do.  Even after 17 years i still find it hard on those days.  Next week i begin my major hauling and i feel anxiety about it.  But  my anxiety about my kids living with my issues  is worse than the anxiety of tossing stuff.


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