You F***ing A**hole! Just What I Would Expect From A Male!!!
So my cellphone was missing and dead so I couldn't call it. I tore apart the entire house looking for it. Literally flipping over couch cushions, moving chairs, tearing apart the toy box, everything. I was going insane. The entire time, my cat, Pez, is sitting on his cat tree just watching me. Finally, exasperated, I just melted onto the couch. I gave up. Then, Pez gets up to come over and sit in my lap and, guess what I see under him! My fucking cellphone! The little asshole was lying on my cellphone the entire time. I guess I sat it down on the cat tree when I was walking through the house. Now the asshole is sitting on my lap, purring with pure smugness. Males. Now I don't feel badly for having his balls removed.
Melody Conner Wyatt and Tabitha